L O V E .

快乐

2011-04-22T15:17:00.000+08:00

做一个温暖的女孩
做一个爱笑的女孩
快乐并懂得如何快乐
快乐并感染身边的人快乐
尽力做到更好
偶尔任性，却不犀利
偶尔敏感，却不神经质
乐意和大家分享所有开心和不开心的事情
高兴，就笑，让大家都知道
悲伤，就哭，然后当做什么也没发生
仅此而已
试着爱上自己

xoxo

First ever post in 2011

2011-04-02T20:05:00.002+08:00

My blog keeps on dying, and then gets resuscitated and then.. dies again. This cycle is never ending. I wanna be consistently blogging, I'll just keep trying then. :D

It's Saturday again and like all Saturday nights, I'm not having any fun! So I'm just about planning to start studying since there's a timed-test on Monday. I'm still as lazy as ever and it's a never changing fact lol.

What's actually new is I've been watching Queen (女人我最大) through a blog sort of link that YeeShan has provided me with. And I've also been 'googling' where I can get skin products and things that are introduced by them (Queen) and I've found a site! The products they use are quite convincing, to me at least cos they show you when they use it and some results are like instantaneous and for a girl like me, who acts on impulse.. I AM NOW HOT ON THEIR PRODUCTS! I'm going to order their stuffs and when I get the products, test them and etc I shall show you where I order from. I will testing dulu lah for reliability. :D

Since my blog has been dead for so long and I don't think anyone's reading it anymore, I'd be talking to myself for a really really long time. Doesn't matter COS I HAPPY MA right.

Hereeeeeeeee........
I am also currently HOT on Pink's song - F**kin' Perfect.
cos Ms.PannieJee has been constantly spamming everyone about how awesome this song is.
Enjoy!

xoxo

Dreams

2010-12-04T10:40:00.002+08:00

Been having lots of dreams lately , it's weird since I don't normally dream so much . So I decided to google all those that I remember vividly - for example .. Last night's .

It was weird cos in the dream it was very random . So suddenly I have a leaking roof , the weirder part is my room suddenly has kelv's bedside table . == weird max . And the next thing I remembered was me getting angry with my lecturer cos she tore the roses off my NDS's bling , I was so pissed I said HEY THAT WAS EXPENSIVE ! and stormed out of the class . wth ? Maybe I'm just stressed about that lecturer's exam that's coming , next week .

GAHHHH .

my blog is dead . and revived . and then left to rot for another few months and I come back to it again . Wonder why I can't just be as persistent as other bloggers . Oh I forgot , cos Im not a famous blogger . lol

So I googled && , this is the result .

( I tried to make a box but i don't know how so I googled but I don't understand . soo . nevermind )

' your home is supposed to be a safe happy place, but in your dreams it is leaking. maybe this is your way of saying that life at home hasnt been great latley, and home doesnt feel as safe and relaxing as it did before. '

and

' A dream of a leaking roof represents distractions, annoyances, & unwanted influences in your life or new information is coming.'

I figured this wasn't dong much help . So I just typed - dream interpreter into the google machine instead .

And for the angry part , this is what I got -

To dream that you are feeling much anger, forewarns that you will be involved in a terrible and tense situation. Your loved ones will let your down and disappoint you. It also forewarns that once solid ties will be broken. Being angry in your dream may have been carried over from your waking life. In your dream, you may have a safe outlet to express such emotions. You may have some suppressed anger and aggression that you have not consciously acknowledged.

( credits to Dream Moods )

I just remembered ! I also dreamt of my tooth falling ( the fake one ) not exactly falling , more like i bit an apple and it cracked . I woke up touching my tooth ensuring it was still intact lol . This is the interpretation that I got .

One theory is that dreams about your teeth reflect your anxieties about your appearance and how others perceive you. Your teeth help to convey an image of attractiveness and play an important role in the game of flirtation, whether it is flashing those pearly white, kissing or necking. Thus, such dreams may stem from a fear of rejection, sexual impotence or the consequences of getting old. To support this notion, a dream research found that women in menopause report to have frequent dreams about teeth. This points to teeth dreams as being related to getting older and/or feeling unattractive and less feminine. Teeth are an important feature to your attractiveness and how you are presented to others. Caring about how you look is natural and healthy.

( Credits to Dream Moods )

This one is quite long though so if you're interested in reading on , click the link to that post .
There are many sayings to you dreaming about losing your tooth or how you lose your tooth and stuff like that .

I guess I have dreamt about loads of weird stuffs but I just can't recall right now .
Did I ever mention I have had recurring dreams of being chased by two hippos ?
IT . WAS . A . NIGHTMAREEEEE !

anyways , till here then .

xoxo !

lacking motivation

2010-10-25T17:11:00.002+08:00

I hate to admit this but I may be just one of your typical average girl where you can easily grab one whole bunch out from amongst a random street . I don't make an effort to be different perhaps because I'm just fine with who I am .

I'm not someone who can blog or write with beautifully crafted words like products you find on shelves with gorgeous wrappings . I'm the one without that kind of wrapping . I'm just simple , plain . SIMPLE . Once upon a time I wished to be different , I wanted to be the first person that catches your eye when you look into that crowd of people . But I guess I don't wanna be anymore , I'd rather be this , simple , ordinary and .. mediocre me . who would care ? As long as I excel in what I do . but that didn't seem to be the case . after so long , I'm still down here , way down . And i clearly know how much effort I need to put in to get there , but I'm still not doing it . Talking is cheap , anyone can talk . But how many can really do it ?

Tell me how you do it .
I'm really tired of me .
I'm sick of standing here and not moving even one step forward .

I want to change
I have to change
and most importantly
I want to be the change .

that feeling .

2010-10-19T22:32:00.002+08:00

You know that feeling ?
When you're just waiting.
Waiting to get home, into your room, close the door, fall into bed,
and just let everything out that you kept in all day.
That feeling of both relief and desperation.
Nothing is wrong.
But nothing is right either.
And you're tired.
Tired of everything, tired of nothing.
And you just want someone to be there and tell you it's okay.
But no one's going to be there.
And you know you have to be strong for yourself, because no one can fix you.
But you're tired of waiting.
Tired of having to be the one to fix yourself and everyone else.
Tired of being strong.
And for once, you just want it to be easy.
To be simple.
To be helped.
To be saved.
But you know you won't be.
But you're still hoping.
And you're still wishing.
And you're still staying strong and fighting, with tears in your eyes.
You're fighting.

something to think about .

2010-10-07T15:52:00.002+08:00

Right now , I'm a stress-filled person , sitting in front of my laptop blogging away - when I should be starting to study .
I tell myself EVERY FREAKING DAY THAT I MUST START STUDYING TODAY . But look at what the hell I've been doing . Lounging into bed everytime I get home , switch on laptop , do stupid stuff and waste time .

what the hell .
I don't want to flunk , and I'm sure as hell what I have to do to change , but I'm unwilling to .
I find excuses for myself for not doing it , and tell myself it's fine - but what I can't escape from is the guilt , and I'm pretty sure it's gonna drown me soon .

I feel like crying - the course is washing all my enthusiasm away , I guess I'm not THAT person I always thought I could be . What happened ?
I took this course at first , knowing it would be as tough as hell but , nevertheless took the challenge . I know of the sure stress but I guess I wouldn't have new how overwhelming it is till I really felt it .

I wanna give up - I'm what he says after all , and always has been . When things get hard , I try to escape . I'm a quitter .
If i quit now , I would waste the money , and disappoint all those who loves me . And for the sake of my dignity I told myself I will carry on - I am afraid of what others think .

DROPPING OUT on the very first sem ? It's embarrassing - especially for someone who has a huge ego , like me . People are expecting for me to finish this course and - tada , another professional born at graduation . I don't know if I can do it . I'm having doubts , but I can't quit now . Like mom said - You chose to do this , we never forced you . I know . I know , I know . All these thoughts running around in my head . Pushing waves and waves of stupid pressure onto me , and I have nowhere to run .

I wish I could give up on whatever responsibility that I have and just be who I wanna be . I didn't start out to be a person who wanted to graduate a professional . I always thought I could do something I had interest in - Not that I don't have interest in what I'm doing now , it's just that the stress is too great , way more than I can ever handle .

I don't wanna quit now , I wanna try - for once . for myself , for those i love - I'm tired of disappointments , so I don't wanna be a disappointment , nor do I wanna embarrass myself .

All there's left to do , is to just go on and on and on .
Nowhere to run , so - try . :)

I chose this , I don't wanna be the quitter - I'm gonna show you that I won't forever be that girl you see .

I CAN I CAN I CAN .

But I'll always be trapped inside that box . whatever I learn is gonna trap me - trap my thoughts there , I can never break free , like one of our lecturers said - One thing about us is that , we started learning all these principles and know what all that is about , thus making our thoughts trapped , we're uncreative because we can no longer think outside of that box .

NO MORE EXCUSES , LEARN TO LIVE UP TO THAT EXPECTATION
DOESN'T MATTER WHO IT IS FROM
I DON'T WANNA DISAPPOINT ANYONE , ANYMORE .
TALKING SHIT IS EASY - but I'm gonna DO IT this time round .
I know I can
Like he says -
' It's not whether you can do it or not
it's whether you wanna do it or not '

xoxo

just be yourself -

2010-09-15T21:01:00.002+08:00

so once again , i neglected this blog .
i blog from time to time , bits by bits - simply because i'm not a 24/7 blogger .
i blog everytime i'm motivated , upset , blahs . there's never a time when i'm normal .

so im here again today , cos - there's a mix of feelings , and it's complicated .
being away from home , again . the feeling is sad , everytime i leave home , i feel more unhappy .
maybe because i don't really have great friends and blahs , PLUS i'm 2.5hrs flight away from home . so , don't compare yourself with me , unless you're further :D

yes , having a boyfriend is also a problem . you wanna chat / see / text him - and it makes your life harder , BUT also easier at the same time .
HARDER - because you lose focus on the things you do easily cos you get distracted .
EASIER - because he's always there whenever things get hard , i throw temper tantrums all the time , but he can handle that . yes ? (:
feel so liberated when i'm with you .

starting the course is the hardest thing to do - i know im not the law type , and i too , DO NOT understand why im doing it , sometimes . but after bits of thinking , this that , it gets through , just like that , and i like how it makes me feel .

but THINKING about it alone also makes me stressed sometimes - i think about both the good and bad - good because i convince myself it's gonna be alright , bad because i think of the worst scenario . Being JENNYBONG IS SO HARD LAH !
can i change my life with you ?

I've been back in Brunei for the past two weeks , after my five days trip back from Kuantan . I felt so happy , back there , loved and protected . I love my family ! <3
That morning , I felt like i could just let the plane fly off , without me inside .
THAT is how being back home makes me feel !

i tell myself things are going to be great .
move on , life won't stop , time won't wait
so don't stop here
the world is waiting for you
go out there
be yourself
do what you want

my future is waiting for me , out there .
(:

all the best to everyone
xoxo

1st day in Kuantan .

2010-08-27T19:25:00.002+08:00

I've made it to Kuantan ,Pahang - safely . (:
super sleepy .
shall update more when I'm freeeeeeee .
take care semua .

kisskiss !

..

2010-08-24T22:09:00.002+08:00

也许选择这个时候回来
真的有点不恰当
心情
真的不知道该怎么形容
太多太多的事情
让我越来越不开心
还是
我变得越来越贪心
要的越来越多
多到连我自己都快喘不过气

我明明就比谁都还要明白
却还是一直犯下不该犯的错
我已经开始害怕
很想很想
和你
就停在这里

我们不要继续向前走了
好不好 ?

‘ 其实我很害怕你想要的
我都做不到’

i will NOT care anymore

2010-08-24T20:18:00.005+08:00

why is it that out world starts revolving around our boyfriends soon as we fall in love ?
then why the hell do we need friends for ?
so bad that you actually don't make time for your friends or other stuffs anymore ?
and if in turn , ever , you would need me AFTER .
im telling you this , first , right now .
i won't wanna be there for you
i'd rather waste my sympathy on something else
(:

i just dont understand la .
how you got so obsessed .
and how i feel so affected when i shouldn't be , at all .

you know what ?
F THIS .

x

2010-08-24T17:36:00.001+08:00

being overly reliant is not what i was hoping to become
its weird that i should even be caring
im gonna throw all the care away
maybe then
i wont feel this way
x

...

2010-08-23T20:03:00.000+08:00

baby
im such a wreck
why do you still love me ?

READ

2010-08-22T17:00:00.002+08:00

QAD , this is for you to read . Something to think about .
Don't complain about having too much to read / words too small , blabla . ZOOM IN , and if you loveeee me , you'd read . So , read , and you will understand . HOPEFULLY ! * fingers crossed . :D

（一对情侣拥抱在一起，女孩的脸上露着一丝笑容）

女孩：老公，你-是不是又抽烟了？

男孩：蒽，今天我去**寝室，他在抽烟，他给了我一支，所以… （男孩不停地解释着）

女生：我知道

男生：宝贝，我会听你话的，少抽的

女孩：哦

男孩：生气了？

女孩：没

男孩：那就好，老婆，我爱你

女孩：有多爱？

男孩：很爱很爱

女孩：真的？

男孩：你爱我么？

女孩：不爱（男孩和女孩沉默了）

1_男生永远不懂女生叫老公的含义．女孩如果叫你老公，就代表她已经把你当成一个一直可以依靠的人了．在她伤心时，讲笑话给她听，逗她笑的一个人；在她开心时，陪她一起笑的一个人… 女生如果对一个男生叫老公，那么男生你就应该树起你的责任哦！

2__男生永远不懂女生不喜欢听自己解释，而说一句“我知道”．不是女生不愿意听你解释，而是听得太多了．她不喜欢这种事后的解释．

3__男生也许不明白为什么自己保证过后听到的却是女生的一句“哦”．因为她听到的同样的保证已有无数，她不知道你这次是否又会食言．她又怕沉默会伤你，所以她只有这样做．下次女生这样时，男生一定要清楚哦！还有一定要实践自己的承诺．

4__男生不懂女生为什么总是不让自己抽烟？总是那么啰嗦，因为她不想你的身体受伤害，她经常提醒你是因为她想让你放在心上，她想让你为了她而改变．男生记住哦！不是女生啰嗦，而是她爱你

5__男生不懂女生为什么那么容易生气？有点口是心非，明明生气了却还说“没”．因为她爱你，在乎你，所以她生气！~~她说没生气是因为她想你哄她。男孩看了的就多多学习哦！~~

new start , again (:

2010-08-22T13:11:00.002+08:00

Few days down the road and my tummy is already beginning to shrink . why oh why , i love you fats , come back to me ~ haha . It hasn't even been a week . Maybe cos I still haven't gotten used to being back in KL , so all my meals are kind of . snacks . and stuff like that .

Yes , I feel a little cheated although on my part , I'm also to blame for wanting to move out from the hostel . Now I'm always alone in my room , and Jane is always out to paktoh . Think I may be moving back to the hostel soon soon soon . (:
Joanne is there , at least I have ' a ' friend .

Been a little over emotional about things lately , maybe cos I feel so left out , after overhearing all those stuff , it upsets me even more . SO , seriously considering moving back , or maybe , wait for her to move out , and ask Joanne to move in with me , easier :D cos Joanne likes our room too ! HEHE , or better yet , we could find a new house and both move in to single rooms , if J gets a carrrrr ! YAY hehehe . (:

Still need some getting use to , but will be fine , it's gonna be okay . That's what I keep telling myself when I get all upset and feel like crying . It's weird , but I'm always emo in KL . It's just not ' my ' place .

Maybe when YOU come , it will feel much more like home . <3

写给以后陪我一起到老的人

2010-07-30T19:45:00.002+08:00

能不能有个人 , 可以看穿我的逞强 , 可以保护我的脆弱 ?　
　　

不要在我说「没事啦，你去吧」的时候就真的会放心的放开我的手然后留我一个人 ?

　　
不要在我笑笑不说话的时候就真的会以为我心里没有觉得疼痛和难过 ?
　　
　　不要在我若无其事的忙碌着手头的事的时候就真的会以为我什么影响都没有受到 ?
　　
　　我希望他会在我的眼泪掉下以前就用大大的手掌捂住我的眼睛 , 然后轻声说我的眼睛只有微笑的时候才是最好看 .
　　
　　我希望他会在我面无表情的时候用力的抱紧我 , 然后说你在我的面前永远都不需要伪装坚强 .
　　
　　我希望他会在我受到委屈的时候把我的头按在他的肩膀上 , 然后抚着我的头发说没关系 , 就算所有的人都不相信你 , 你都还有我 .
　　
　　那個人不一定要是高高瘦瘦的，但是一定要干干净净
　　
　　那個人不一定要会甜言蜜语，但是一定要有好的脾气
　　
　　那個人一定会从我们牵手那刻起，对我说：从今天起，我们有福同享、有难我挡
　　
　　那個人一定要霸道些，他会对我说：我认定你了，就赖你了，你就是我一个人的
　　
　　那個人一定会支持我减肥，却依然带我去超市给我买很多好吃的，然后说：吃吧，不管你多胖我都要你
　　
　　那個人一定会在过马路的时候牵着我的手，对我说：要跟我走
　　
　　那個人一定会明白老婆是用来疼的，而且会吹着快乐的口哨和我一起做家务
　　
　　那個人一定会在我生气的時候耐心的哄着，然后逗我说：你生气的样子，好丑
　　
　　那個人一定会在我哭的时候为我擦眼泪，然后告訴我：乖、不哭，有我在
　　
　　那個人一定会在我累的时候，伸出手臂，很心疼的说：抱抱
　　
　　那個人一定会在睡覺前跟我说：你要早點睡覺，晚安

给 - 以后陪我一起到老的人

quotes -

2010-07-22T12:41:00.002+08:00

Love is something that should be free , but many people give it a price tag and don't even know it. - TyteWriter

Have the key of your life! It's okay the door isn’t in front of you now. At least nobody can open it except you. - WilzKanadi

Life is too short to stress yourself with people who don't even deserve to be an issue in your life. -Eugene Mirman

Be of use, but don't be used. -Javier Marías

Teach your heart to dance to the rhythm of life, 1 step backwards, 2 steps forward. Keep moving, no looking back. - TheGodLight

You need trust to love, but first you need to love in order to trust. -Kate Braestrup

Changes only happen when we go against everything we're used to doing. - Paulo Coelho

misery ? NOT .

2010-07-21T23:10:00.002+08:00

none ~ of ~ my ~ business

i don't care , really , whom i really care for , is wendylim . :D
so all others can go jump sea and die .
lalalalalala .

don't get so worked up over all of my crap if i'm no one to you . why mind ?
im posting this , cos yes , im affected , i dont need anyone's shit , same like you wanna say you too .

takecare .

confrontation

2010-07-21T10:29:00.004+08:00

I've been so lazy to update lately , but I have so much to say . I wish what I think would automatically be typed into this wide space and so I wouldn't have to rake my poor brains so much , just to blog . Cos everytime I blog , there are always these details that I tend to miss out , and they are mostly quiteeeee important .

So anyways , I'll just start and see where it takes me .

first and foremost , what I wanna blog about is this -
* names are protected for privacy , and shall not be mentioned .

I thought we were way over our childish days , why do you have to make other people's lives so miserable ? I hate seeing her so down and moody when she should be happy and stress-free . She shouldn't have to put up with all of your shits , she never did anything wrong , so .. care for an explanation ? I don't understand . I'm her bestie , I care . Envy all you can , we , have the most precious thing , the one thing you might not be able to find - the both of us , our friendship . We are inseparable . I am her , she is me . (:
Stop the childish mind games and grow up , please . Anything can be discussed , face to face , out in the open .

The next -
I understand how it makes you feel , but there are times when you should just let it go , when you come to think of it , put yourself out of the box and see things the way we see it . And then you can probably understand how it makes us feel , I put myself in your shoes and think , and it feels like the old times , and when I think of it , it just exhausts me . I never wanna be like that again , so tell me , why do you do that to yourself ? I could probably come to be quite fond of you , if you could just stop pretending and show yourself . Im not a person with mind games but I can understand how you think , because , I hate to say this , but , we are . alike . in some ways . Well , to be exact , USED TO BE .

sometimes , we need freedom , we need our own friends , we need someone to talk to , apart from the other half . Maybe because , before I had the chance to know you , I was brainwashed by your negative side , same as the others . Maybe if we could start over , things would be better . should we talk ? I think we should . (:

Sure , I have Kelvin , but for me , just having him isn't enough .. sticking with him for too long , would sometimes make me feel so friend-less and I feel like I have to get out there and do something big . I love his love for me , it's simple , and unpressurized . But staying down for too long makes me feel empty . I was never a person that would settle for less , and I came to understand that I never will be . I feel content with him , but it could never be enough , I need other things , so so much more . I need my friends , my secure future , same as he does . I have him , but sometimes , I get insecure , not because he doesn't love me enough , it's just like when we play the sims , our ' Love meter ' is full , but others , are just going down down down .

SOMETIMES , JUST SOMETIMES , I FEEL LIKE RUNNING AWAY ..
away from all these uncertainties .
away from all the hateful people .

why can't life be more simpler ?

luckylucky banana .

2010-07-07T11:05:00.003+08:00

I love , and respect you , thank you for loving and being able to respect us , in return . (:
I found another side of you , that is worth loving , so so so worth it . Thank you .
Guys need respect , so do the girls , and you were willing to say sorry , that kinda made us , think differently about you . :D

Where can I ever find another you ?

Sure we've had our share of disputes and little little disagreements , which you insisted , to not classify them as ' arguments / quarrels ' whatever whatever that it's supposed to be known as . It's cute !

You don't know how lucky I feel , to have you .

always , always , ALWAYS be mine .

and then there's my bestfriend , wendy lim .
I feel like the luckiest person on earth right now . (:

lovelove

2010-07-01T05:34:00.002+08:00

Happy 6 months !
Nothing is impossible when I love you . (:

I like the long and fruitful talk , although we're both exhausted .
but seeing each other like almost everyday ................................................
I don't have a very good feeling about it , don't get the wrong idea , you know how much I love ... you . :D

another lalala .

2010-06-28T22:51:00.003+08:00

The second I was told , I could really be honest and say I was jealous . I felt so uncomfortable and jealous , cos I cared . But the moment I saw you , it felt like what they said didn't really matter that much after all .

One second I felt like nothing changed , the next , I really didn't know how to say what I was suppose to say , you can say I was dumbfounded . The feeling is REALLY complicated . Or maybe cos I've been very tired and drama queen hasn't really been giving me enough break .

Maybe you felt that I was being weird , I'm sorry .
Until I sort out what this feeling is , I won't take a step further than where I already am standing .
Maybe it'll be fine tomorrow . (:

what if ..

2010-06-24T12:08:00.003+08:00

what if I told you , things will never be the same again ?

Time changes everything ..
It's naive to say it changes nothing .
It changes what you thought of before , and what you're thinking of now .
We all change over time .
We all go through it and it's called ' growing up ' , but .. are you stuck in time ?
All this while .. wishing you would at least realize what you're doing to one another .

Praying for things to get better and better . (:

___________________________________________________________

I miss you so much , I don't know why . It suddenly feels like you don't exist , and never had existed , was it all a dream ? Take longer and maybe things would really change . I'm not sure about anything anymore .

LOST ..
come take me home .

xoxo

LGMH

2010-06-22T22:45:00.002+08:00

Today was my birthday.

My daughter came running into my room and said she had a surprise for me.

As I stepped out of my room, I started to cry and she screamed "Do you like it?"

It was my husband, home from Iraq - just for my birthday.

Dan and Julia, your gift and love for me GMH.

____________________________________________________

I was at this cafe and a couple in their 80s walked past me.

The old man had trouble walking and he had to use a walking stick for support, while his wife held his other hand.

He almost tripped but his wife caught him and gave him a kiss on his forehead.

His smile melted my heart. Their LGMH :)

____________________________________________________

Yesterday, my brother found out that I have a boyfriend.

Today, he walked up to my boyfriend and told him that if he ever hurt me, he would wake up in a dumpster with no hands or feet.

My brother is 10.

His courage and love GMH

____________________________________________________

I first saw her from across the hallway.

I then turned to my best friend and said, "That's the girl I'm gonna marry."

Today is that day. LGMH

____________________________________________________

While I was in the bathroom, locked the door. I was hating my life, trying to think of a suicide method.

Someone snuck in a note with a Twix candy bar under the door and note reads, 'Look! For you."

I opened the door and saw my 6-year-old sister, smiling.

I gave her a hug. Her compassionate LGMH.

____________________________________________________

I have cancer and have to have chemo so all my hair fell out.

My best friend has the most beautiful, long hair in the world. We were hanging out and I told her that her hair was beautiful.

Her reply was "That's good. Because I'm cutting it off and giving it to you."

Her LGMH

____________________________________________________

Love Gives Me Hope . (:

fight for this love ♪

2010-06-20T17:59:00.000+08:00

Too much of anything can make you sick

Even the good can be a curse
Makes it hard to know which road to go down
Knowing too much can get you hurt

Is it better Is it worse
Are we sitting in reverse
It's just like we're going backwards
I know where I want this to go
Driving fast but let's go slow
What I don't wanna do is crash , no

Just know that you're not in this thing alone
There's always a place in me you can call home
Whenever you feel like we're growing apart
Let's just go back, back, back, back, back to the start

Anything that's worth having
Is sure enough worth fighting for
Quitting's out of the question
When it gets tough gotta fight some more

We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love
If it's worth having it's worth fighting for

Now every day ain't gon' be no picnic
Love ain't a walk in the park
All you can do is make the best of it now
Can't be afraid of the dark

I don't know where we're heading I'm willing and ready to go
We've been driving so fast we just need to slow down and just roll

don't let it get to you .

2010-06-19T13:34:00.003+08:00

This was not how I expected it to be , wasn't suppose to be this way . I hope I can prevent history from replaying itself , cos it sucks and I do not , ever ever wanna go through it again .

I admit it , I'm jealous , oh man I so suck . ):
Why do I always do this ?
Why can't there be just ONCE , just ONCE , that I don't go and dig up the past .

All the girls say - we don't care , but we know we'd gradually grow to care much much more , way more than we initially planned . Love isn't suppose to go according to what you plan , so when it goes out of line , all we can do is deal with it , before it gets worst . I hope we can really do it this time .

It always makes me wanna cry cos it gets so difficult , I know I shouldn't have done it , yet I can't help myself , and always end up burning myself . I'm greedy , selfish , self-centered and etc .. conclusion is - I'm an asshole .

and right now , I'm hurt , and I did it to myself , I deserve it .
but it'll be alright , wipe your tears , get back on your feet , cos life goes on .
Don't let it go to your head . (:

stuck

2010-06-18T21:11:00.002+08:00

It's a day after my birthday and I'm officially 20 years old , finally kissing goodbye to the days where the 1 still took lead .

I spent what people may think as a ' special day ' rotting at home with flu , cough and sore throat ( it keeps getting worst ) watching a super old drama , with the boyfriend away to Singapore , so tell me , how great my day was .

I kept sleeping , waking up with severe headache , drama , sleep back , totally losing appetite , everything was tasteless . All I had for before 4pm was a glass of warm water with panadol soluble , and I'm so bored . I ate maggi but threw up afterwards . worst day ever , ended up eating yoghurt instead . I'm officially boring to death , stuck in my room , with the laptop , and the headache just won't leave me alone . Bestie just told me maybe she can't make it to KL after all , just MAYBE . So I checked to see if my flight could be rescheduled and seriously , FML , I can't . Guess I am stuck here till the 30th . HOW GREAT .

I need a good laugh . I'm super bored . Bored with facebook , my korean drama , the sims , my books and mags . I don't feel like sleeping , I wish I could say goodbye to the sick feeling and go shopping .

lalala . I'm so bored . Just oh so bored .

xoxo

< / 3

2010-06-02T22:57:00.002+08:00

I felt it , that moment .

I can't fight the tears . I never knew I could feel something like this in my life , but I felt it for you . The moment I heard your voice I felt like I was breaking down . I never knew I could feel such sadness . I heard everything from your voice .

How you talked like there was no hope .
How you said you just wanted them to be happy .
How you hoped it was just a nightmare you could wake up from .

I felt the pain .
I'm sorry .

245s

2010-05-24T22:07:00.002+08:00

Happy Birthday to the 245s , Winnie and Yiean .
I wanted to write on your walls ( FB ) but everyone was doing it , and I guess sooner or later it'll be so damn flooded you won't be able to see mine , so I texted . LOVEMELOVEMELOVEME ! :D

but I forgot to sign it off with the big BONG word . ohwell . Still love me kay .
Kisses *

Just do it . (:

2010-05-24T22:05:00.001+08:00

this is it this is it this is it

i can do it i can do it i can do it

go for it go for it go for it

law paper tomorrow .
goodluck everyoneeeeeee . (:

第几个一百天

2010-05-22T11:08:00.001+08:00

我把爱铺成蓝天
让不安的你一抬头就看得见
我把心烧成火焰
让怕黑的你拥着温暖入眠

我晓得时间如雪有时候会覆盖一切
但是真爱一如倔强会重生的绿叶

第几个100天还是很有感觉
用眼睛去素描你内心的世界
第几个100天也像刚热恋
两个人手一牵连命运都改变

曾有的敏感脆弱
在我的胸口你就躺下来别说了
将有的固执冲动
我也会拥抱你安抚着体谅你心疼着

第几个100天越来越有感觉
用眼睛去素描你内心的世界
管过多少100天也像刚热恋
两个人手一牵连命运都改变
当守护变信念连泪水都很甜

vexation

2010-05-19T00:22:00.005+08:00

Sometimes I wish I can be more selfish , but I bet if I was , things would not have been the same as the way they are now . I wish I could ask for more and not care so much about how you felt .

Trying to ' play it cool ' is what I'm trying to do . It's tiring , I wish you knew . I wish you were there when I needed you , not that you weren't , but sometimes , key times , you weren't . Given this situation that I'm in , I can't afford to be distracted , and it is definitely NOT the right time . But I'm in it , in deep shit .

I'm just complaining , as usual .
I wish I could whine less , and instead , do something about it . I'm always thinking about it , and never doing it . I've been sleeping at crazy hours and having quite a bit of problem adjusting , I have this habit of putting all my papers infront myself and tell myself I would study , and look at the time , and say - okay 12.40 , and when it turns 12.40 , I tell myself , make it 1 . There goes all my time . Always waiting for tomorrow .
Where's the motivation ?

counting down , one more week to A2 .
all I can do now is to keep my fingers crossed and pray for the best .

________________________________________________

Suddenly , I feel so abandoned .
I need someone , anyone .

yeah , it's THAT time of the month again , that explains why I'm being crazily moody and overly emotional . But it's not an excuse for being unreasonable , so I'm trying to think , and BE , RATIONAL .

still , I wish you could feel what I feel now .
where are you ?
I'm waiting .

__________________________________________________

I have a sudden urge of cancelling my ticket on the 30th , and staying back , maybe it wouldn't be as bad , you know . Maybe I don't need to go home , I'd miss all of you , but it would be exciting . (:
I'd love to stay for you , but the world gives more than you have to offer .
someday , someday ..

when I chose to leave , I know I've chosen to be forgotten .

i'm confused and i'm babbling away .
so deal with it .

xoxo

loveyou (:

2010-05-16T00:07:00.002+08:00

我还记得那时的感觉
到现在还非常清晰
那一刻的不安惊慌失措
还历历在目

当他跟我说
他们想约你去做一样我不喜欢的事
当时的我没有立场说什么
你说什么我都只能微笑点头
假装什么都不知道
而那时的你也真的不知道其实我知道
连最要好的她都不知道的秘密

那时的他说
你现在选择走的路
就是你的决定
而你的决定是我

你不会知道
那一秒我的感受
那种感动

而我跟他
也不约而同的都笑了

那一天
你的决定
给了我很大的勇气
谢谢你

blabla

2010-05-15T00:09:00.003+08:00

so that's what I'm going to do .

Good Evening .

why it isn't - HAHAHA kidding .
I just found out I always blog only when I'm missing someone badly - either home / friends / bf .
OR when someone pisses me off , or just when I'm bored and getting all emo lalala .
And most of my posts are . Just me trying to define myself . Up til now I still can't get a proper hold of how to make it sound right .

Right now I'm blogging cos I'm stressed . I have 3papers next week ..............
but thinking about June . I just cannottttttttt wait !

PRESENT - Right this moment I wish I can make time stop and keep reading and keep reading and keep studying till I stuff everything I need to know in my head . Sigh , why don't I have a real life Doraemon that can help ? :(

PAST - Last week was quite awesome though , minus all the backstabbing and bitching and mindgames , I actually pretty enjoyed it . It's like we had endless time to play and endless money to spend . HAHA , until everyone realize we were near BROKE . shiat , sorry BOSS . HEHEHE , yes I'm pretty close to being ' broke ' .

FUTURE - JUNEEEE ! OMG it's been like almost half a year since we've really had our OWN time together . Back at home we always had to rush to go out . Cos you're working , after work , you;re always tired and needs to sleep . When we go out it's like 8++ , and your mom starts calling around 9 , and you seriously need to go home cos you need to work the next day . I really cannot recall when was the last time we actually had proper conversation . You would say all , but for me , kinda like .. none ?

I had no one to talk to , I missed you .

Luckily I got ' Yee ' like you ' call him ' , but please stop calling him that . HAHAHA .

I was looking at the calendar , counting the days . I was hoping that May would be forever non-ending cos I'm just so afraid of exams . I wish you were here with me , we can always motivate each other .

I miss the days we would just sit down , talk pointlessly . Then suddenly get serious and talk about some personal stuff , and go on to daydream and laugh stupidly .

It was great when there were only two of us ..

But then it got complicated cos now we're both x2 .

I don't want us to grow apart , I know you're always saying we're not and I always insist we are . BLAH . I still think we are , but I still love you .

It's okay , I HAVE YOU ( devilish laugh ) for 6days in a row , day and night 24/7 HAHAHAHAHAHA to torture you , and our wallets .

can't waittttttttttt ! * squeals in excitement and jumps around like gila .

Photo of the Day .

Totally spoiled him . HAHAHA

I can't help laughing everytime I see this .

xoxo

can I have this dance ?

2010-05-13T10:35:00.001+08:00

Take my hand, take a breath
Pull me close and take one step
Keep your eyes locked on mine
And let the music be your guide.

Won't you promise me
(now won't you promise me, that you'll never forget)
We'll keep dancing
wherever we go next

It's like catching lightning the chances of finding someone like you
It's one in a million, the chances of feeling the way we do
And with every step together
we just keep on getting better
So can I have this dance
Can I have this dance

Take my hand, I'll take the lead
And every turn will be safe with me
Don't be afraid, afraid to fall
You know I'll catch you through it all
And you can't keep us apart (even a thousand miles, can't keep us apart)
'Cause my heart is wherever you are

Oh no mountains too high enough , oceans too wide
'Cause together or not , our dance won't stop
Let it rain , let it pour
What we have is worth fighting for
You know I believe, that we were meant to be

lalas .

2010-05-12T15:26:00.004+08:00

I have alot to blog about , I think . But I don't know where to begin .
But I don't wanna go back to being THAT someone anymore .
I saw Joanne's status on FB - would you like YOU if you met YOU ?
simply asking if you would've liked yourself IF you happen to meet yourself .

It seriously got me thinking , I don't think I would ?
Infact I hate myself sometimes . For .. alot of reasons . :)
I thank my friends for putting up with me and being there through all the ups and downs with me despite me being really shitty sometimes .

So , I'm trying hard , not to say anything that's not worth saying or would hurt anyone , saying it . It's gonna be difficult , but I'd try anyway . =)
I wanna grow up , with time , and learn to speak words of Love , instead of Hate .
But I still can't help if I hate you or just dislike you , so I'm just gonna leave it like that . I don't wanna force myself liking you . THAT's REALLY HARD .

I'll try my best to accept those , in future , whom I'm gonna meet and dislike . That's the best I can do . For those whom I've already disliked .. no luck .

I PRAY ..

xoxo

annoyance

2010-05-09T21:43:00.000+08:00

incase you're wondering ..
yes , you do annoy me . :)

xoxo

(:

2010-05-07T22:12:00.002+08:00

1、学会冷血，只对对我好的人好，对某些人，简直就是浪费感情
2、学会比以前快乐，即使难过，也要微笑着
3、学会孤独，没有谁会把你当宝护着，世界总是孤单的
4、学会坚强，其实一个人也可以活得漂亮，自己笑给自己看，自己哭给自己听　　　　
5、学会忍耐，该闭嘴就闭嘴，该沉默就沉默　　　　
6、学会珍惜，知心的朋友已经不多，如果再走，就真的只剩下自己了　　　　
7、学会视而不见，恶心的东西选择忽视，厌恶的东西选择屏蔽，不会再有人让我不快乐　　　　8、学会满足，所谓知足常乐　　　　
9、学会独立，不能再一味的麻烦别人，自己的事自己做　　　　
10、学会长大，不能再那么任性，那么幼稚，那么孩子气　　　　
11、学会认真，认真的对人，认真的对事
12、学会慎重，不该认识的人不要认识，不该插手的事不要插手

this post was shared by Honey through facebook .
posted it here to remind meself . :)

WLWL

2010-05-04T00:40:00.007+08:00

I'm not a perfect friend
I'm not a perfect daughter
I'm not a perfect student
I'm just a person full of flaws .
And when I say FULL , I mean FULL .

I cannot keep my comments to myself at times .
Especially when the bad mood strikes and I see something that absolutely doesn't go along with what I feel .
I don't know if I am trying my best to change that , but at least I am trying .

I tried to be a goodfriend , but we have to give equal effort for it to work .
I tried to be everything my parents ever wanted , but sometimes it gets so hard you give up trying .
I tried to be a good student , but I am just not good-student material , even if I have my work done on time etc etc , some people just don't change their ways of viewing you .

I'm sick and tired of feeling sick and tired .
You put me down , if it isn't for the sake of trying to make yourself feel better , then it's acceptable , but from what I see .. it's just that .
You never explain why you do that . You do it as if I should understand why you're doing it .
People get tired .. and sick .
But we mostly just have to get over it . So , I'm over it ?
WL , I wished everything could just start over again when I push the ' restart ' button . :)
We won't become bestfriends without having to constantly insult each other anyways , right ?

I'm not the bestest of the bestest , but you're my PKL , always will be .
HAHAHA . I know what you're going to say next .
OKAY ILOVEYOU TOO .

xoxo

WENDYLIM .

2010-05-01T23:40:00.001+08:00

I MISS YOU WENDYLIM !

MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THIS WORLD THIS VERY MOMENT . :)

(:

2010-05-01T18:55:00.004+08:00

ENTRY UNAVAILABLE

welcome to my life

2010-04-28T09:36:00.001+08:00

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you

Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
Never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like

Welcome to my life

imy

2010-04-26T21:12:00.005+08:00

I MISS YOU

you always make me miss you

and it gets more and more difficult to overcome each day

I miss everything about you

EVERYTHING

xoxo

confusion .

2010-04-25T21:36:00.004+08:00

Just got off the phone with mom .
I miss her , she sounds tired , it makes me wanna cry .
I think I've been crying too much and I'm gonna go blind if it continues , haha . Just saying .
ah well , I think it's me being overly emotional , that's me for you .
DEAL WITH IT . ( I'm starting to like this word , though it actually sounds a little annoying . )

I'm suppose to be studying , which I am , err . I mean WILL do , soon , when I finish blogging .
I won't be online as often , it seems . Cos I need to focus .
Even if it means breaking my neck studying . :)
Doesn't sound like me tralala I know , heck .

I couldn't help having my hand wander off ~ touching this , and that , walking here and there .
DAYDREAM .
Then it suddenly got to me .
- I don't know if I'll be able to continue doing Degree , I know they say I can , but what if I don't pass ? What if .. I wasn't able to continue ? I don't wanna stop , not here , not now . I know I can go further than this . But what if things just don't go as planned ?
I may be thinking a tad too much , but it's a ' just-in-case ' sort of thing .
Am I going to just work ? Just stop ?
But what I'm studying offers alot of routes , right ? I think ?

Let's seeeeee ..
I can't go doing SCIENCE , that's for sure , gawdd I almost flunked that .
Maybe Business ? But I don't .. like this option .
Ermm , I have an advantage cos I get exemptions from doing diploma and I can just jump into degree , oh I love Alevels - PLEASE PASS !
H & T ? NONONO . alot of lengs though , drools for awhile *
MassComm ? Not my thing .
I have my heart fixed , but now I'm just so unsure .
EESSHH HATE THIS .

Heart , please stop jumping around and let me catch you ,
stop giving me all the mood swings blabla yadayada whatever .

-------------------------------------------------------------

So , I was reading through my old texts , for no particular reason if you are to ask .
Just browsing . :)
I remember how you used to push me away , even thinking of it now still hurts me .
Luckily everything turned out fine in the end .
If not ? I don't know too , another emotional breakdown ? HAHAHA neh , not so weak .

anyways , till here .

catch me again soon .

xoxo

JennyB

sunday .. again .

2010-04-25T19:03:00.002+08:00

Here I am again .

as bored as ever .

I've been playing ' The world ends with you ' on my DS , reading ' The Memory Keeper's Daughter ' , and right now , watching Madagascar , the first one , I haven't watched it before , it's keeping me entertained on a boring sunday . Actually I shuldn't be ' bored ' , cos I'm having a test tomorrow and crap , I haven't studied . It's getting to me again .. the laziness , the horrorrrrrrr .

YEP !

this is WEEKEND LIFE .

I kinda GOT my result last week . and it's bad , REALLY BADDDDD .
should get working on it soon .
and .. here's a tip -

but then again -

and THAT is exactly why , I am still sitting here , listening to some sad songs , drowning in the sadness , and just . enjoying myself .
dreaming that i'd be SKINNY someday - just dreaming .
and planning to study later - just planning .
and sleep early and score that test tomorrow . HOPEFULLY * fingers crossed .
pray for me . =)

but seriously ..
sometimes .

i wish i could just ..

run away .
fly away .
far far away ..
from everything .

credits to Joanne for the picture - abandon everything . :)

but this is life .
so , yes , deal with it .
we'll survive , although we do still end up being dead anyway .
HA - HA . not funny .

xoxo ,

JennyB

maybe

2010-04-17T14:00:00.002+08:00

maybe i've loved you all this while but i never knew
maybe i was too blind to see
maybe i was too afraid
maybe i'm just starting to realise
maybe i'm a little too late
maybe i was testing your patience
maybe i wanted to see how much you loved me

maybe you've always been there for me
maybe you've always been understanding
maybe you were always trying to make me happy
maybe you were giving all your best
maybe you never wanted to see me upset

maybe i've been too selfish
maybe you've been too good
maybe i've been wandering too far off
maybe you've been waiting
maybe i was waiting for you to find me
maybe you were waiting for me to come out
maybe we weren't what we thought we were

maybe we've been wanting a little too much
maybe we've been in a dream all this while
maybe we got lost somewhere down this path
maybe we're on our way back onto the path again
maybe we're hoping things would be right
maybe we're both wishing for a happy ending ..

你

2010-04-13T21:12:00.002+08:00

风轻轻我听见你声音

你对着我叮咛要注意自己的心情

雨轻轻我听见你声音

你拿着伞靠近为我遮着风挡着雨

一点点想哭泣一点点想着你

你的爱很珍惜

我总依赖着你的记忆

你就像风在说话顺着我方向

你就像海中的波浪堆着我成长

我明白你的回答温柔的对话

爱情其实没有办法不被感动吧

我不说谎

the long weekend

2010-04-11T16:57:00.004+08:00

i wished the weekend was never ending , though it may mean i'd become extremely fat . My sister came to KL for 3 days , so after exams on friday .. i went to find her and stayed with them in timessquare hotel .

Talking about exams , im sooo dead . But it's just trials , I trust i can do better the next time round , i sense improvement cos i'm becoming more opinionated and i kinda like that improvement , for my essay , only wishing my arguments can take a firm stand . =)

so about the weekend , i arrived at the hotel around 4+ pm , and we went for dinner .
dinner : ramen - cant remember the name of the restaurant .
i had a california temaki , miso soup and honey lemon hot .
after dinner we went walking around , shopping is not a fun thing to do with them , so i didnt exactly shop plus im nearly broke , though sister doesnt mind paying , still , i'd feel guilty . =\
we went for K afterwards in Neway since we're in timessquare . BUFFET !

lord , please forgive the gluttony .

i did not take all these food lol ~ and i didnt touch em . i had some salad , baked cheese cauliflower , absolutely delicious ! but fattening . baked potatoes and alot of other veges .

oh oh , and baked baguette with fishmeat and cheese on top . FATTTTTTT . =(

ohwell , i decided to let go for the weekend and eat eat eat !

we had like 3 drinks each person and i swore i could feel the whole of my stomach coming up to my throat . i had something something with aloe vera first , mint tea next and yam bubble tea last . GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDD . we talked and talked , walked and walked .

there were 5 of us . it was fun . =)

the second day , the day where i was suppose to get back to the hostel and start studying for exam on monday . for breakfast we went to Room Eighteen ( supposedly brunch ) , we ate we left , we went to sg wang first , then KLCC , and i had mcdonalds , they didnt eat . FML . we walked walked walked and cos my sis wasnt feeling too well we decided to just head back to the hotel . my sis slept in the room while me and the friends went shopping - well , to be exact , just loitering around . i decided not to go back and stayed another night cos i was just too freaking tired to go home .

we had dinner at old town at night roughly around 8 ++ .

another day filled with fatness and gluttony . i have a feeling , all my diet is just going down the drain . we decided to go clubbing , but then me and my sister we were so tired we decided to stay in and ms desperado didnt seem like she wants us to go .

it like the group i joined in fb :

'hey , that's mine ! give it back ! '

' here , take it '

' i dont want it anymore '

' WTF . '

haha , same same theory la ! like she wanted us to go . but then when we said okay , she macam dowan again , sis was sick and i was exhausted we malas to argue . so ms desperado went with the others . im not going to story about her , but i am going to story about the friends , they're like sisters to us , but they're guys .

err hem * clears throat .

GAYS .

they're goodlooking .

they aren;t exactly the type that you would call hot at the first glance , but they're super NAI KAN lo ! the more you look at them the more you find them attractive .. but thennnnnnnn . sayang la , gay . hahahah ! i really like them , cos you can say anything , absolutely anything , and i dont even feel the least unnatural .

one of them was named miracle , NICE NAME right ?

at first i thought it was just a nickname , then i sought prove by asking him to show me his IC . lol WTF MIRACLE IS REALLY HIS NAME ! his sister's name is PROSPERITY . how very very special . the other one was called eric . the first night he looked normal , the second night when he wore formal attire and set his hair , its like ...... makes you speechless . why la ? what a waste . hahaha . i even asked them how they knew they were gay and stuffs , but they look at pretty girls too , just .. no feeling . weirdness .

this morning we had breakfast at the hotel and checked out around 1pm , we went to pavilion , they went shopping for shoes at Stadium , as a birthday present for a friend , then we went to starbucks . i hate the taste of coffee , since my first super sucky coffee at mcD , i never ever wanna touch coffee again . its like the worst drink on planet earth . i had chocolate cream chip , super fat and i know . starbucks sells coffee and im suppose to try coffee yada yada . maybe next time . i hope there's one coffee that would change my feeling towards - COFFEE .

i dont understand why people love starbucks so much though , is it cos of the coffee ? or is it just because you wanna make yourself look grand by sitting inside starbucks ? act like you're freaking rich and holding a starbucks coffee cup . i dont get it , but i'll try the coffee one day and tell YOU how i feel . Hope they make me like coffee * fingers crossed .

i love reading mags and googling for randon stuffs for info and blabla . i started to love carlo rino since i saw the ad , cos the model is so sweet looking , i actually love the model more than the prducts . :D

i saw 3 pairs of shoes and 2 bags that i like .

i wanted to buy the heels but im almost broke , and i did not want my sister to pay cos like , she's suppose to be here to enjoy herself , not to help me pay for everything like my atm machine .

sadness . it's okay . i don't really need 'em .

BUT I LOVE THEM.............. =(

its okay , there's always a next time .

see ! im improving , this time round i didnt say - haya , mai liao zai da suan !

i really really wanna save money . so when wendylim comes , if she jadi , if she tak i sad alone lol .

so we can go shop like crazy go everywhere in june . :D

anyways im so hungry right now i can eat a cow .

we tapao-ed secret recipe ! yumyum . =D

LAST round of greediness .

boy , can i be your whole book ? i dont wanna be just another chapter in your life . :)

xoxo

untitled

2010-04-06T18:32:00.002+08:00

i just removed kahsiongteo from my fb . maybe it's what you call ' prejudice ' ? i don't know . when i see him i just get grossed out completely . i don't hate him , he just sorts of disgusts me i guess . never in my life have i seen someone as self centered as him , and so confident yet so stupid . you can say he can afford to be stuck up cos he has great results and yada yada blablabla i don't care . another 2 more months , to hear his annoying yakking tone in the class . =)

just completed the accounts paper1 and 2 . i left my paper 2 undone and i made quite a number of mistakes in paper 1 which , by now i shouldn't have done . i know cos i heard them discussing the answer which is also .. annoying . my paper 2 .. i totally had no idea how to do blablabla i just suck at accounting . i scribbled here and there and my paper looks like kena small kids draw like shit . lol ~ when i was on the bus coming home - i suddenly thought of something .

perhaps the next time when i don't know how to answer the questions i should just write a small ..

P/S : this page was left blank intentionally . HAHAHA . i like the idea .

im stressed . yet im not doing anything . i feel so useless . crap . study study study need to study please freaking motivate me . =(

panic mode is on , stressed , easily depressed . symptoms of being overly stressful .

just wanted complain - for no particular reason . i noticed i do that alot when i start getting stressed . i know its trials and i shouldnt be so worked up but i wish that i could be better than this . :(

helpppp .

i gotta go study now ,

will try to blog more often .

toodles .

xoxo

needs loads of luck . pray for me and keep your fingers crossed .

loves .

love is what makes the world go round .

2010-03-28T10:03:00.003+08:00

to some bloggers , it doesn't really matter if anyone is reading nor following their blog .

it's just a public diary . =)

and people who are reading , if you choose to read , then shut up , you shouldn't be so opinionated with the way other people live their lives , or judge them , cos you don't know them . not that it has anything to do with me . :D

I only read blogs OR blog when i'm extremely bored , to the point where i really don't wanna check facebook , or play my sim3 or watch my dramas or movies . It's like once in a blue moon that i actually go see what's going on on people's blogs . It's a place where , when i miss my friends , i can go check what they've been up to , and know how they've been .

June is really really near now , and I'm gonna be home soon .

I don't really think it makes a difference as to whether i'm in KL or Brunei I guess .

I may not know alot of people in KL besides my classmates and schoolmates , but i feel free-er here , mom and dad doesn't nag cos they don't know what i'm doing . Though i really only just stay at home here . Actually i kinda enjoy just sitting and doing nothing , my friend's lifes here are .. not really that interesting , i guess ? I'm not so sure . Boyfriend and girlfriends are all back home though . I feel like i'm getting more and more independent and that I don't really tell them alot of stuffs anymore , and there's really not much to talk about . I do miss them though .

love is what makes family . (:

I called my mom yesterday , we talked about quite a hand full of stuffs , and my elder brother too . Mom said if i've decided to just take the external programme for degree in law then I can start in August if i choose to , but it's really stressful . Thinking of the stress just makes me soooo .. tired sometimes , mentally . Then she passed the phone to my elder brother , we're kinda close in some ways cos we can talk about everything and anything . He says if i really feel tired then maybe i should just stop and rest for awhile and just start next year , he's just sooo sweet yes ?

I used to really thought college life would be interesting and fun blahblahblah . But , it's not really as good as i thought . Maybe it's my friends , maybe it's the programme i'm in , maybe i'm just too lazy . I haven't been involved in any events as far as you and i are concerned , and haven't really been that hip as i was back in high school . Oh well , maybe we're just all getting older . I'm seriously aging . and the sound of that word - aging .. is really depressing . GAH !

exams are near . one more week .

Time is running out .. help . =(

With all your love and support , i shall be strong . I know as long as i'm still fighting , you'll still be there for me . We don't need to be together 24/7 to know what we're both thinking , we haven't been in contact either , But true friendship never wilts , and we're still gonna be there for each other , always , forever . we promised , right ? i love you , wendy lim . Thanks for being friends with such a jerky friend , i wasn't always the best of the best , but you always understood , for whatever reasons , you were always there . Thank you for being the most awesome friend throughout all the good and bad .

BFFS , forever and ever .

i love you always .

you're sick , get well soon .

xoxo babygirl .

boyfriend , i love you !

记号

2010-03-28T09:34:00.004+08:00

流过泪不重要终于停止寻找
从猜测推敲从眼神拥抱
你的答案再微弱都听到

不需要作比较过得比谁都好
爱从来没有讯号征兆
为你发烧抱紧昨夜的梦撒娇

我们都知道爱情在围绕
与生俱来的熟悉的味道
如果争吵也都是为了对方好
却不要轻易地失去了微笑

我们都感觉强烈的心跳
不要去理会不被谁看好
当我听见你说的天荒和地老
泪在飙那就是爱过的记号

不害怕不再逃
所有勇气一次全燃烧
爱不是很重要过去的全忘掉

跟着感觉的讯号

我们都感觉强烈的心跳
不要去理会不被谁看好
当我听见你说的天荒和地老
泪在飙那就是爱过的记号
泪在飙那就是你给的记号

勇敢的不是我

2010-03-21T19:48:00.000+08:00

天空哭了它哭什么呢
我们甚至还有笑容
能牵着手伤就不那么痛

没有路的森林没有人看好的你我
比孤单的人要幸福了很多

就算黑暗还看不见未来会不会来
我仍相信活着是为了去爱

大雨滂陀我不要回头
宁愿在风中颤抖
勇敢的不是我
是因为你温暖了我的手

不在乎还有多久我不需要懂
有你陪我就足够
永远只有流过眼泪的人才能拥有

我很喜欢最冷的时候
你用自己保护着我
我能感觉你心跳的温柔

心甘情愿的人原来什么都能承受
宁愿曲折坎坷也不要再寂寞

就算黑暗还看不见未来会不会来
我仍相信活着是为了去爱

大雨滂陀我不要回头
宁愿在风中颤抖
勇敢的不是我
是因为你温暖了我的手

不在乎还有多久我不需要懂
有你陪我就足够
多么难得我们做着同样的梦

就像在盛开之前花朵就已注定
这一生唯一的颜色
就像是你和我就算吹着疯狂的风
也不会动摇的执着

serious serious , be serious . =)

2010-03-21T19:31:00.003+08:00

Trial Exam is just around the corner , coming up in 14days . Time to get serious . =)
Been SIMS3 crazy , now im abit tired of it ady , lol . Maybe its pms , maybe the pressure finallyyyyyy pushed me to the edge and made me realize its time to get super focused and serious . But I think my laziness will be back soon anyways . Just one month la , hao hao study , let's be good . =D

Alot of stuffs happened and I've been meaning to post pictures but I'm a wee bit lazy . Seriously admire those with so much patience to load the pics . Maybe cos my net sucks , so i'm not into posting pictures . I get so annoyed when it get stucks halfway . Plus I'm so lazy to update the happenings that has expired by days . MALAS LA .

I've sat infront of my labtop for the whole day and I feel so . weird . cos Harn is out working and I have no one to talk to and I malas chat also . I just don't feel like doing anything , but I am revising though , WOW I know right , so lazy but Im actually studying , trust me , I feel how you feel . HAHAHAHA . Kidding , I don't .

I'm drinking green tea and staring blankly with thousands of thoughts shooting through my head , searching for interesting stuff to blog about .
NONE .
maybe alot la , but I malas anyway .

Oh ! We went to this pre-U talk , the representatives of University of London , ofcourse AngMohs came to our college to intro us about the uni and some other colleges in London . I so wanna go la . But KDU and some colleges only provide external programmes for Law Degree for UOL , which means 3years in KL . If we wanna go we have to apply for 3years there i think ? And according to them , you have to have 3As or 3Bs to get into the Uni . totally .. impossible . I'm so going to flunk accounts , I just know it .

GAH !

im gonna go bury my head into the books now .

CIAO !

xoxo ,
JennyB

random-ness

2010-03-14T17:44:00.002+08:00

oh nothing

just suddenly feel like blogging

random much .

wanted to blog about that disastrous day with miss JH

but forget about it , it was really fun though .

she was grumbling and i was laughing away

how many people actually experience this kind of ....

what should i call it ?

idontknow , so ..

SKIP !

actually pretty exciting , and DRAMATIC .

HAHAHA , ily JoanneHee

though you and i tend to annoy each other sometimes , but ohwell !

to HER :

its not that we don't like you ..

err well . actually , we don't like you .

HAHAHA , to be honest .

don't you even notice ? you have practically no friends .

i pity you , sometimes .. are you worthy of it anyway ?

think not .

i'd reallyyyy like to help you , but what you do pisses people off sometimes .

not to mention that horribly HORRID breath of yours .

we know you'd cry if we told you , cos you're just too weak .

well, i mean , everyone's weak , in one way or another .

but you , the most weak-est person i've ever seen in my entire life .

please , do something about it .

p/s : tell you something , you're not a PRINCESS , neither do you look cool .

you're just a pathetic normal girl who's just trying to impersonate someone else .

so , stop it , will ya ?

find something to do with your life ,

stop being such a whiner .

people need to grow up , you're not a kid anymore , though you still think you are ..

but seriously .. PLEASE LA !

grow up .

你的白目实在让人受不了.

it's time for a change .

i'm not afraid to tell this to your face .

and i'm not going to , cos ..

i'm not a meanie . (A)

* mood swapping *

i miss my friends .

im still thinking whether i should return home in April

but i most probably will

cos someone misses me . :D

I can't wait to finish in June !

main sampai gila then ,

and leave again .

i really really love you all , serious serious .

even that someone .

that change is just for the better , don't cry .

sooner or later you'll have to grow up anyways ,

im just speeding it up for you .

WENDYLIM IMISSYOUUUUUUUU !

xoxo ,

JennyB

最佳听众

2010-03-11T20:36:00.002+08:00

我多High你都陪我疯

我耍冷你笑到头痛
我倔强难过不讲但你懂

一句话就帮我想通

一拥抱感动不言中

一相信未知的潜力都汹涌

你欢呼分享我奋力一搏的光荣

你拍手提醒我不停作梦

别怕白日梦

你将心比心是最佳听众

你给的建议总超级有用

在紧要关头

要比恋人还更体谅我

你保守秘密是最佳听众

你讲的实话能逼我振作

很少说谢谢

但我爱你就像你爱我

在半夜找你去打球

大雨里骑车去兜风

我失恋惨是我的朋友

太臭屁你会巴我头

太压抑你载我夜游

太伤丧气你毫不留情地吼我

WENDYLIM ,

我爱你就像你爱我 .

loves !

xoxo ,

JennyB

sunday .

2010-03-07T19:27:00.004+08:00

watched Book of Eli with JoanneH on friday , the movie was nice .
Recommended ! :D

I tried googling for the cinema version of the poster but I couldn't , and I don't know where else I can get it , so I guess , this will do the job . No , I don't wanna summarise it for you , watch it yourself . :)

I just trimmed my finger nails to a shorter length , not botak , just shorter and typing is far moreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee easier ! Especially typing on the phone , since I'm big thumb-ed . Hehs . It's a weekend and I'm again being unproductive , just sitting here and browsing fb , movie-ing and playing The Sims 3 , it's nice ! I have 2 kids now and one of them is named Eli , not LAME ! Just that my brain couldn't filter a more appropriate name for my baby at that moment , and since I watched the movie that afternoon , so walla ~ there goes my baby's name . Eli , doesn't sound so bad y'know ? HAHAHAHA , actually i had names running through my head , but John , Jason , Andrew and blablabla just doesn't sound nice enough for my baby , so NOT special . I have a BIG place for my Sims now ! And I'm happy for them , I even built them a POOL ! cheh , childish . lol .

I'm sitting here and counting my calories too , cos I just can't wait to slim down . I'm crazy , my friends are uber slim , so slim that they actually make me feel fat . How can ? We must stand on the same line la , so wait for me ! Hopefully self control works , for not eating junk food . Talking about that i brought shit loads of chocolate back , they're still unopened in the fridge and my tummy is craving for them .. like now . :(

Gotta take my mind off 'em and go showerrrr , feel great and start doing homework . Trials are starting in a month , I'm stressing about it but still , I'm not doing anything about it , I always feel so useless la , so malas . WHY ? shat .

slacker ! kayla , LAST TIME , promise . * fingers crossed . (A)

xoxo ,

JennyB

another day .

2010-03-03T19:30:00.003+08:00

I missed a week of college and am very very stressed , as of now . Lots of work and stuff to do , and trials are starting in a month . If I can I would very much like to kill myself right now .

Skipped college yesterday cos I was toooo tired and whole body was aching , makes me feel freaking old , I went to class today and did a good job PRETENDING to do the work on my own , ohwell .. white lies never hurt , right ? Now I have 3 accounting questions to do and a business test to study for tomorrow . My life is as miserable as ever ! And Im so freaking sleepy now .

What's different today is we went to Lunch together , one of our classmate's ( the first on the left ) mom lanja us makan at MaMa's Restaurant , I know ! Sounds cuteeee ! Overall the food was okay , great bonding time for us , I guess ? Above is one of the pictures we took together when getting a cake for XueYee , her birthday today .. and seriously ...... GAH ! hahahahaha ! so mean la JoanneHee .The others were in the restaurant already waiting for our return while we were camwhoring away .

Today is great , but tiring .
As usual , internet sucks , but now , all of a sudden , it's working as perfect as ever .
Hope it lasts longer this time ! * fingers crossed *

My day was great , apart from the bad-hair-day .
Hope yours was too !

xoxo ,
JennyB

after CNY .

2010-03-01T21:39:00.002+08:00

CNY in Brunei for 18 days was awesome ! Prolly cos bf is there , heh hehs . And and , annoying sister turned out to be not-so-annoying after all . :D

Back in KL now , can't wait for my next return in June !

My heart was reallllllllly heavy when I boarded the plane this afternoon , when I felt tears coming up , I pushed it down and gave up to the tiredness and slept for awhile .
It always works for me when I feel stressed or , not in a very good mood , a sleep always makes it all ALLLLLL better !

I miss home , miss him and everyone else .

It's been 2 months and ..
May there be many many more months to come !
Loveyou , Boy . <3

xoxo ,

JennyB .

tralalalala ~

2010-02-24T16:46:00.003+08:00

i hope i get my blog done right and i can start posting pictures and blog in a more proper manner , or just close it down . so lazy .

i hate pms , it makes people upset .

i wanna go gamble .

its gonna be goodbye Brunei and hello KL soon !
gatherings and sleepovers coming up .
hell lotsa funnnnnnnnnnnn .
love me friends lots lots .

XOXO ,

JennyB

...

2010-02-16T22:34:00.003+08:00

maybe its not that i dont know , but i choose not to know . i dont have time for child's play and i do not wanna waste my time thinking about stupid stuff and making my own life difficult .

if this goes on , it may be time to say goodbye . :)

im tired , hope you know .

xoxo ,
JennyB

a new start . (:

2010-02-04T23:27:00.002+08:00

Its been quite some time , i just read Susan's blog , and i'm sooooooo motivated to blog . well , all of a sudden anyway !

For those who dontknow - me and jr broke up cos he has a new girl . I was pretty depressed for some time and drowned myself in self pity-ness until i realized i shouldn't be like this anymore , and then .. i got over it and now , im with someone new too !

We should always give ourself chances , and now it feels like a dream come true .

I'm getting more and more in love with my girls each day , and JOANNEHEE ! She always makes me laugh like stupid . Rebuilding our relationship , now i can't wait to go home .

:)

CNY is coming and i just can't seem to get enough clothes .
Sigh , i guess girls will be girls .

I'll be back to Brunei in a week .

See you all soon !

XOXO ,

JennyB .

雨天

2009-11-28T16:56:00.002+08:00

站在十字路的交点
该怎么走我却只剩回头

除了你给的伞
我再也没有别的借口
去拥有你的什么

你能体谅我有雨天
偶尔胆怯你都了解
过去那些大雨落下的瞬间
我突然发现

谁能体谅我的雨天
所以情愿回你身边
此刻脚步会慢一些
如此坚决你却越来越远

牵手和分手来自同一双手
做回朋友我却为何不懂挽留

是否太晚路已走远
我的眼眶泪太满
走不回你身边

updateeee.

2009-11-25T18:44:00.004+08:00

pms coming again - how great !
which, in other words, means i've been having quite alot of moodswings lately.

so what's new is, i opened facebook page yesterday. on the news feed, i saw HIS post, intro-ing about his car and stuff, oh btw, he's trying to sell off his vitara, please contact him if you're interested or blabla. so, i was saying.. the post. the sister 'liked' the link, the gf commented, and the sis commented too. 'wow, great mennn !' notice the spelling ? MEN ? ohokay. ==
im being a meanie, so what ? i went to his page and saw that he changed his status to being in a relationship with her, and i called him yesterday morning. said he was going kk today, ofcourse he didnt mention with who, but use your butt think also know la can ? i was sooooo... sad ? kinda ? or something like that . hmm , i hate what i was feeling and my eyes started to get teary, thought i was over it. then i came to realize that i was never really, i just kinda chose not to think about it and stuff. Or maybe i'm just jealous. BLABLABLA i dontknow la, whatever.

its shitty, and i almost tried to log in and change his status, but then i took a DEEP breath, and repeatedly told myself, ' i will not do this, i will not do this. ' and i didnt. :) proud of myself. maybe the old me would, but the new me is able to think rationally. i dont wanna be the crazy ex gf, that whenever he thinks about me, he'd be like 'phew, luckily we broke up... ' or stuff like that. he's trying to keep a distance, i can tell. i guess its better too, for the both of us, and his sister likes the new gf too. so.. sad la. but i'm okay. at least better.

he'll be picking me from the airport the day i arrive, well, supposedly. but now im having second thoughts. its so good that im not seeing him anymore, the day i called him ? the minute i heard his voice, i realized, i miss him, so so much . so maybe i shouldnt see him anymore, even in dec when i go back. maybe we should avoid seeing each other, calling, texting, be in contact and stuff . i don't wanna cry over this crap, miss him over nothing, i dont want my MAGICALLY LONG holiday to turn into a disaster, thanks. cos i know myself too well, if i see him, i might miss him afterwards. i might not be able to control the urge to see him. its good for the both of us, i dont wanna be his current relationship's problem. i know he's happy now, im kinda mad that he's happy, but on the good side, he found someone that supports him, and well, shares alot of things in common with him. ( that's what he's been wanting) seriously though, i think its kinda boring, you're dating someone who's just like you, (besides good-looking) its just like looking into a mirror and you'll get bored sooner or later. but, im just saying. hehs. *angelic smile* i cant say im better than her, all beings are made differently.

so i've made up my mind, to call him on the day he returns from his kk trip and tell him we'll not be meeting, until i can be completely calm about this. its not that im not, now, and things went pretty smooth during sept (my last visit back home). but, its still better anyways. just a pre-caution.

my bestie will be picking me uppppppp ! :D i just know it's going to be great !
i gotta feeling ~ lalalalalalala !
THANKYOU YOU, WENDYLIM ! <3
(oh you mean the double YOU ? i did it on purpose, you arse, dont judge my english even if you are better.)

im gonna be home in a week !

ilove singlelife.
i wont change it for anyone, at least not for now !
I SO LOVE LIFE !
AND I SO LOVE GOD !

i went to the orphanage today ! :D
its a charity thing our college is doing.
June Intake is in charge, some of us march intakes tagged along anyway, :D
at cheras,
we took the college bus. i sit there (as in, in the bus) , want sleep - cannot, cos my posture like awkward liddat, want sit properly - cannot also, reason, same as above, sweat somemore. so damn hot cos i was sitting at the window seat. got aircon la, but.. haiya, hard to say.
my posture awkward cos, we shared seats, 3 of us. can imagine ? squeeshy.
not very bad also la, but then, joanne very kasian. HAHAHA, cos she's the teeny-iest (tiny-est). [whichever la]
we saw one very cool punya kid. but he damn tiaokeh lah, HAHAHAHAA totally like, pissed joanne, actually quite embarrasing, cos she talked to him and he didnt even bother to make a reply. he just stared at her for awhile, then continue eating. funny lah ! the other one was better, he said he's name is DAVID BECKHAM, double !@#$%^&* then he said, nola, my name is daniel. i think they all quite smart leh, can speak 3 kind of language and they can juggle quite well, their english not broken ! well, not exactly la, like how we normally speak like, got abit singlish feeling. :D

overall, they're quite adorable, :)
and i wanna say..
i will NEVER ABANDON my kid.
got exceptions lah - if raped (CHOI x3)
i would definitely go for an abortion, and curse the person to hell with all my life. :) its just natural. if ermm, accidentally, in future la. i will keep the baby, whether or not the future BF wants it or not, its not like i would NEED you to yang wo. ofcourse, im still just saying. i wont cry anf beg you to let me have the baby and stuff, thats just all so dramatic, and 'dramatic' and 'me', we don't go together.

ILOVELIFE !
ILOVEGOD !
ILOVEMYFAMILY!
ILOVEMYFRIENDS, wendylim especially!

blablabla !
im out.

xoxo,
JennyB

对不起我爱你

2009-11-16T10:05:00.002+08:00

没别的
只想说对不起
对不起我真的爱你
不管你会怎么想你怎么说
也不会改变我的决定

你知道有时候感情事很难说
很难说爱人或朋友
从前到现在我真的感觉要
一想你我的心就发烧

想给你听我的心跳
想你知道我睡的不好
喝水想着你
搭车想着你
合眼闭眼间出现的全是你
我猜不到你的表情
我等不到你的回应
不想难为你又不想放弃你
决定告诉你
对不起对不起我爱你

没别的只想说对不起
怎么样我都会珍惜
不管你会怎么讲你怎么做
也不会影响我的心情
你知道有时候男孩更难捉摸
难捉摸爱人或朋友
现在到永远我真会感觉要
一想你我的心就狂跳

我的模样记不记得牢
情人卡有没有收到
读书想着你
听歌想着你
大地和蓝天出现的全是你
我才不管你的表情
我才不理你回不回应
不想难为你又不想放弃你
决定告诉你
对不起对不起我爱你

你听一听我的心跳
你看一看我睡的不好

drowsy day.

2009-11-14T02:44:00.002+08:00

i have a lump on my head, got it yesterday after the movies in the restroom. i hit my head so hard on the stupid steel thing that i had to stop and close my eyes and rest on something for awhile. how stupid can one get ? yeah, and it still hurts.

it's another morning and it's 2.46am in the morning, figured i slept too much in the afternoon, now i'm not even tired. GREAT! eesh. i've been sleeping around 2-4am in the morning for almost 3weeks now, no particular reason. cos i've just said goodbye to that stupid reason this morning. :) now i'm just trying to re-adjust my time and i'll be back to normal, i think ?

im no longer loading pics cos i've not been taking pics lately and if i upload them here, my page will be totally f-ed up, and i dont wanna screw it up, so i'll just leave it with words. Been going shopping alot lately, completely broke, waiting for next half of allowance coming next week. A friend of mine got a canon camera, like the DSLR type, wait, did i spell that wrong? IDK la, whatever. errm, it's not exactly the pro type lah, just something like that, i want one too! this is one of my, bad bad habits. i want whatever people have. :( BOOO. and after i get them i wont really use them and stuff.

I wanna get a new phone, my friend just told me Nokia e72 is now available for purchase at Lowyatt - near Sungei Wang there la. So, maybe getting next month or Jan. :D HAPPY! but i like e71's colour, the white one, iLOVE! DOUBLE.HEARTS!

a few hours ago, it was friday the 13th, to be exact, yesterday, didnt notice until bestie texted and told me. didnt seem like a bad day, cos i came home straight after class and slept until 6, i feel so lifeless. so boring lah! need exciting new life so, must move out if i get a good place with great deal. walking aint a problem, the problem is safety and stuff like that. Can't be bothered to tell mom, cos i already know her answer. We'll see, she loves me and i guess after i move, she can't do anything, she'll support me, hopefully.

friday the 13th, supposedly said to be an unlucky day ? idontknow, my upper lid has been jumping like crazy for 3consecutive days, which as a believer, well, sorta, makes me kinda happy cos it feels like something good's gonna happen. i can't exactly think of what i want to happen now, contented at the moment, (excluding the fact that i can't get enough of shopping) there's nothing else i want. :D

been watching drama on my lappie like there's no tomorrow, yeaps, right now im still up cos i just finished one of the epis of the hk series and after this im just gonna watch one more and bed time! its weekend, and since i don't have any place better to go, i guess i'll just be good, like how i've been with my uber boring life for the past 8months and stay in my room.

which reminds me... there's a student trip for all of us alevel students this dec, we've like over hundreds of students and they're offering for only 70students, and its selling like hotcakes. i can't go, cos i'll be in bru by then. BOO. how sad can life get ? im not sure if my friends are going, cos we only got the news from our lecturer today, we're going somewhere near KL area, 2days 1night, there'll be kayaking, hiking and rock climbing and lotsa fun outdoor activities. you cannot imagine how badly i wanna go ! :( and the best thing is they're offering for us at only rm90, my lecturer said the last time she brought her kids, she paid rm300+ per person, this was offered at a special rate for the college i guess. soo.. shat. i cant go. :( it's like so cheap i can go bang wall and get another huge lump on the right side of my head now.

i've also been fb-ing like crazy lately and its totally boring meeee! nothing new, nothing exciting has been happening, besides a sports day thingy which will be in SriKDU, within walking distance from my hostel ofcourse, it's also under our college, one of the famous schools in malaysia, according to my friends. its for smart kids. the sports day thing is prganized by our college, to raise some sort of fund is it? im not sure la, i dont really care also. cos like, all the happening stuff are only from two courses in our college, for mass comm students and H&T. they're totally enjoy college life while we're choking our lives with studies. zomg. i think im crazy la, why did i even try to challenge myself ? ohwell..

gahh, im done for today. really sleepyyyyyyyyyy.

time to whine :
everyone's missing someone and loving someone la, i wanna say imissyou to someone too! or iloveyou! but iloveyou is currently the most difficult word to say, even if i do get serious anyways. I WANNA MISS SOMEONE TOO! :(

IMISSYOU!

im so tempted to put imissyou on my pm, but i dont need questions like, hey, who you missing and stuff cos there's actually no one, and you have to waste your time explaining that you're actually putting for fun, which, no one would believe you, so. don't put yourself in the shoes of trouble. haha, and i've not been liking someone's ultra confidence lately. i told him i feel the same way he does, but i dont think he gets what i mean and i really malas explain to him, cos its time consuming and i've not been really patient lately. so, dear xxx, my pms are not for you, its just that i like the songs? and i put the lyrics on my pm sometimes, or the things i write sometimes. might let you think the other way round and give you the wrong impression. maybe i already did from the time we started gaining heat. im flirty, sometimes. who doesnt ? cos i thought you wouldnt get me as being serious, but you ended up thinking im serious. but doesnt matter la, as long as you're not serious, think whatever you want. im not really THAT into you, hope you understand that and i dont really care. i very malas lah. :D i guess you got that figured out. ( the part where i said i malas ) hahaha and your over confidence, its attractive, but i think you blur lah brother. well.. still, its all good.

stopping here for the day.
its really hard to put my thoughts down into words cos its really hard to explain this complicated relationship.. err, not exactly relationship, cycle lah cycle. so err, yeahs .
HAVE FUN USING YOUR IMAGINATION!

IMISSYOU! dontknow who la, but whoever la.
i wanna get into a relationship! so i can think of someone, and text and spend time doing nothing together. but i dont wanna be tied down. contradicting la blablabla. plus its also tiring to adapt to someone new, for me la, cos i very mafan. gahh, just stupid reasons from getting into a relationship anyways.

GOODNIGHT PEEPS.
MUAHS.

with love,
JennyB

13.11.09

2009-11-13T00:38:00.004+08:00

so many things to blog about, so many things i wanna share, yet i have no idea where to start from. i'll just blog randomly, whatever that comes popping into my head. :D

P/S : might bore you, NO PICS, [x] is right there!

i went movie-ing with a friend today at OU, Jennifer's body + PokerKing. I love watching movies, but i'm an anti-horror film person. So, never ask me out for a horror movie, cos you can never change my mind about saying NO. Ofcourse, there are times where i make exceptions, cos I wanna watch ? hahaha, with that special person of mine ofcourse, WL. <3 ohyeah, and him, but there's no more him now, whatever !

I find Jennifer's Body, ermm. not THAT boring, excuse me, this is from my perspective, so don't start. TQ ! cos i've been getting like, alot of negative comments for this movie . kinda pointless abit. but everyone wants to watch lah, and the reason ? you know. *winks* Poker King, erm, funny LORH. as usual, Louis Koo. :) i love HK comedies ! YAY !

but the shitty thing is, im itching all over as of now, and i do NOT know why . prolly allergic to some stupid thang, and idk what . so, *scratch scratch scratch* like mosquito bites all over. GAHHHH ! SIEN.

So, recently, some arrogant guy my friends have been admiring thought i like him just cos i added him on FB, he GUESSED that COS HOR, MY FRIENDS DID NOT ADD HIM. HELLO?! means every girl that adds you must like you one la is it? and you blind kali, one of them DID actually add you lorh, but whatever, i don't care la. cos i really don't, and IT IS NOT ME, I REPEAT NOT MEEEEE. PFFFTT. its kinda like a reflex that i pulled snowfish to cover me when i saw him after the movie awhile ago. wtf, thanks to you making me paiseh .
!@#$%^&*

oh oh ! i saw alot of clothes that i wanna buy, and books, and shoes, and bags, and phone. == FFFFF. need $, cutting down on food, more on luxury babeh. :D urghh, and i hate ME for being such a spendthrift, i always give myself reasons for over-spending. like - life is short, if you don't get it today, WHEN WILL YOU? so, i get THEM. it's crappy i know. but how lerh? IDONTKNOW MAN!

we're having three more weeks of class and im gonna be home! been homesick lately, i kept dreaming that i was at home, i was even smiling when i opened my eyes wtf, only to find myself in the hostel room still. sweet sweet dream. it's not like i have big plans during the coming month of break, but, it's okay to stay home and go nowhere, i was desperate the last time i went home cos i was just too depressed. but i'm fine now, so so much better ! ofcourse, affected in some ways, good and bad.

The good is - i don't loathe him, not one bit. He may have been cheating even before he first confessed, but he's a really good guy, shaddup there, you don't know nothing, you can't judge. he's the best there ever was, irreplaceable. All i can say is, goodluck to the current gf, and goodchoice ! :) there may never be someone like him, or maybe there is ? prolly RARE anyways, and, one of a kind.
` i'm no longer missing him as much as i did before. i do still, sometimes. and y'know what the best part is ? i remember only the best of him. there's no more regrets, since the day he told me he missed me too, and asked why i just had to leave ? this scene of him cheating has been playing in my head a million times before when i was away, but i didn't really wanna know if he did, cos i had too much biz going on, so busy sometimes i forget to text nor call, it worries him. i prolly havent been a good gf too, so, im happy he has someone for him now.
sorry i wasn't able to give you my full attention since the day i left. you tried hard to understand, i know. i tried hard too, but i guess 'trying' wasn't working.
YOU WILL FOREVER BE REMEMBERED. <3

The bad - I'm so afraid of falling for someone right now. self-protection? maybe. haha, but K is no longer a secret. no, we havent been having any improvements. we're both too selfish i guess. none of us wants to get serious. and im guessing it would be better this way, cos all we need is a sense of security, and someone to really sweet with ? i like him cos he's just nice like that. i'm used to him, he's my bad habit now. love? no. I love everyone, i can say it, but be serious and say it to one guy? it will NEVER happen again. i'm sorry, i can't love. i lost the courage, and the faith.. so don't lie, don't tell me bullshit like 'together forever' or shit like that. you know pretty well it would never happen. :D tQ. stop judging me at this moment and look at yourself. you believe what he/she says? its up to you. i don't. this is the side effect, see? sarcastic huh?
` at times, ofcourse, i envy couples, and i wish i could be the girls that i've seen, trying to believe that beautiful, beautiful lie. But I just can't anymore. I'm sorry. Mr Right will come you say ? we'll see about that.

Single is not a bad thing, i love freedom, we had our own things to keep us occupied, we gave each other space, and we trusted each other - that's why we walked hand in hand for 3years. not after i left ofcourse. well, things change, people change.
I can't pay full attention and i hate control freaks. I hate people who complains alot yet they don't even do anything about it, tell you what, go kill yourself. OOPS, just kidding. :)
don't whine if you can do something bout it. not exactly perfect but i havn't been whining ALOT like i used to. He changed me, into a better person. :) i respect him, very very much.

Oh, and i haven't been crapping alot like how i used to. getting colder, the friends say. i still do, sometimes, but not as much, sometimes i dont even answer nor look at them. and its prolly pissing them off ? my apologies. hahahaha, way too cool for you. lol! kidding la.
just havne't been having much to talk about, it's like i no longer find it interesting to tell people stuff cos you know, if you haven't noticed, MOST people would rather talk about themselves than listen, and its like they're just talking to themselves, they dont even bother if you're listening. so i don't even bother looking at them, nor make a reply. it's just plain boring, and they're like so long-winded, they can go on and on and on for hours, and you won't even see a point in all that crap he/she has just said. so, i'd REALLY rather you not talk at all.

ignore chats, smses, calls sometimes. i don't really feel like talking much, especially these few days, nono, pms is wayyyyy over! i rarely call home nor text my bestfriend anymore. i still do, sometimes, only to whine to her, but i decided to quit being one of those losers. having alot on my mind these days, and no, i do not need anyone to talk to, they wont understand and i really really malas explain. would rather have them figured out on my own. thanks for your concern.

oh, looking for a new place to stay, moving out with harn, 70% possibility of it happening, till i see the room tomorrow, know the rental, deposit, the new housemates and stuff. will have all stuff sorted out tomorrow. need a new environment, just to check my adaptability! :D

A2 syllabus is starting, hopefully full concentration will be ON. Can't afford anymore DISTRACTIONS. so, shoo shoo, kacaus!

OH, ILOVELIFE.
OH, ILOVEGOD.
(hynotizing myself)
OH, ILOVECOLLEGE
OH, ILOVEMYFRIENDS
(still hypnotizing)
OH, ILOVEMOM&DAD
OH, ILOVE EVERYTHING.
(hypnotism complete)

gotta ciao now. toodles!

xoxo,
JennyB

没那么爱他

2009-10-31T15:22:00.002+08:00

你有权利情绪化

你不一定要坚强

但有些事情不能伪装

别为自己设了框

我懂失去的悲伤

也懂进退的挣扎

但想起过去都是失望

又何必要放不下

是习惯还是爱

不放心还是不甘心

只有你自己知道解答

其实你没有那么爱他

真的不需要那么想他

编织过的梦想

自己也可以抵达

谁说一定要有他

其实你没有那么爱他

没有深陷到不可自拔

认清了真心话

你就放得下

深呼吸抬头望

发现天空很宽广

这世界那么大

幸福总会在某个地方

认清了真心话

你就放得下

short complaint. (:

2009-10-28T20:59:00.003+08:00

tomorrow's the last day to get ready for the upcoming papers.
not quite prepared. x=
kill me please.

so anyways,
I MALAS LAH!
it's only fair for me to just ignore everything when you're doing this to me.
so, yes... (:

its a VERY short update.
falling falling.

and great, i still have sh*t loads of time to do this. what a waste of time, but ohwell, can't help it.

everytime i try telling myself - 'bu yao liao la..'
thats when you'll SUDDENLY appear again.
and everytime i tell myself - 'okay, one last chance, if he does this this, then i whatwhat'
and.. you DO it.
which, as a result DOES make me happy and squeal.
yet....................
i speechless.

it's so complicated lah, with you i can never think straight!
you make my brain go haywire, working ULTRA slow. ihateyou sometimes.

p/s : i enjoy looking at you (this is someone else) . *smirks*
you're my UNTOLD secret.

yesyes, don't need anyone to remind me, i very very 'xi xin yan jiu' can kill myself also. but thats what makes me ME. :D

TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT!

xoxo,

JennyB

给 ` 匿名氏

2009-10-27T23:49:00.003+08:00

她爱你
爱到快看不见自己了
她这份努力
你其实是看到的
但是却还要假装不在意
是什么阻当了你
从新接受她的勇气

看到这样委曲求全的她
我很多时候都很心酸
有很想哭的的冲动
就连自己的爱情
都没有像她这样
傻傻的捍卫

我知道我没有立场说什么
但是我还是很想说
如果你会因为这样一个小小的原因
就轻易说出分手
你根本就不配得到她的爱

人本来就不是圣贤
我们都有做错的时候
可是过去的已经过去
爱情里最重要的是互相信任
虽然难免会互相猜忌
但是如果连最基本的信任
都做不到的话
你根本就不配

她为了你做的努力
我看得清清楚楚
你明明还是在意
却因为别人的闲言闲语却步

或许中间还有什么因素
是我不知道
没听到的
个个人说的故事都不同
我最后选择相信她

虽然有时候难免会自我掩饰
但是她的个性我都很清楚
我知道她
有时候可能会怀疑到让你不耐烦
哪个女生不会？
会控制到你很想关机
但是如果她不在意的话
你会不会就觉得她不在意？

她很诚实的面对
对你的感情
没有丝毫的压抑
有什么都说

我很佩服她不服输的精神
也许会烦
但也很甜蜜
不是吗

当初如果我也能够在坚持一点...

算了
我们都不要再回头看
我也蛮喜欢现在的他

亲爱的
爱的话
继续努力
支持你的决定
肩膀永远让你靠
我们都要加油

xoxo,
Jenny

stress stress stress

2009-10-23T21:01:00.003+08:00

been a very very unproductive week.
and... what's worst is - exam IS in a week, 2subjects - one morning.
so feel like dying now.
revision? working on it.
but nothing's going in, so pressured. ):

urgggghhhhh siendao!
and you! you you!
quit messing with me, go away la.

tQ! (:

wish i had all the time in the world now..........

xoxo,
JennyB

dilemma

2009-10-19T18:56:00.004+08:00

明明说不想了
还是忍不住
太矛盾了
变得小心翼翼
这样的感觉很陌生
很久都没有了
少了以前那种
天真又不顾一切的傻
自我保护意识太强烈了
不知不觉想跟每个人都保持一点距离
连朋友也是

可是还是会想知道你对我是什么感觉
很想很想知道
但是又很怕
为什么会变得那么没有安全感

我感觉到的那些温柔
是真心还是假意
我不敢去猜

是情人还是朋友
还没勇气想的太多
只是很想再多知道一些你的事
再多靠近一点点
很想和你零距离

xoxo,
JennyB

bestboyfriend -

2009-10-18T23:44:00.002+08:00

don't know what's gotten into me.
don't know why i'm waiting.
was i just trying to replace him with you?
i don't know.
but i'm starting to care.. so so so much it's starting to hurt.
why the hell am i so obsessed?

to be honest, i'm scared of how i'm feeling.
but i'm glad you're somehow not so into this. (:
though it's saddening, but it's exactly what i need you to do.
cos i don't want you to be anything more than a bestfriend.
thanks for being there when i needed to talk.
may not be the best, but at least you're there.

THANKYOU.
let's keep a wee bit of a distance, shall we?
cos i don't wanna be like this.
i'm afraid of taking risks now, don't wanna hurt anymore.

我们就到这.

xoxo,
JennyB

lalalalala.

2009-10-15T20:36:00.002+08:00

feeling abit weird today, don't know whats up with my f-ed up mood.
LALALALALALALALA.

i missed class at 8 this morning, went to college at 1030am in the morning to make sure help has arrived. lol
went queueing outside A&B to pay electricity and water, and how great, the number just wont budge.
i was just ONE freaking number away from the one shown on the screen and i saw no one inside, but they just won't call my number, wtf is with the slowwwwwwwwww-ness?

a weird guy began walking around, just after kat left and i told her 'eyh, hot guy.'
the 'hot guy' turned out to be NOT-SO-HOT. urgggghhh.
anyways, long story short, he asked if he could sit beside me and start asking me weird questions and for my number. he said we could have lunch 'tomorrow'. wtf. go away please?
i wonder if he has any eye problem cos i look super gross today, that's why i left coll early when i actually planned to leave at 2, can't tahan the gross-ness.

been eye-ing someone for quite sometime, but i just don't think i'll ever try to approach him or hope for him to approach me, though i always say 'shuaige, faster ask for my num..' or stupid crap liddat. cos i kinda think that.. good things are meant to be watched from afar.
cos you'd kinda picture him/her as the perfect somebody, but what if he turns out to be the exact opposite? so i prefer to keep a distance and just keep on dreaming. cos its just pure admiration, and i don't wanna 'po mie zi ji de huan xiang'. PLUS! i don't need trouble as a friend, lalalalala trouble is a friend! lenka's song.

like HIM, somehow i want him so badly, but when he gets closer, i just feel like running away..
what's up with this stupid feeling. maybe i'm just not ready?
when he starts to pull away, i get messed up cos i don't want the distance to grow.
shat. i hate how im feeling.
but i think i'll just stay single for some time..
nobody want lah, plus, i'm not ready. i still want wkj. (if he comes back?) HA-HA. stupid.

as of now, i really don't know what i want.
maybe i should quit worrying and go with the flow, but.. i'm never the kind of person that goes with the flow. CRAP LAH. wendylim, i need you!

in deep shit.

xoxo,
JennyB

stressed.

2009-10-14T21:59:00.000+08:00

think i'm gaining weight, crap.
haven't weighed but somehow i feel fat.
i can't stop eating, as in snacks lah.
and i keep feeling like puking.
shattt. think i'm falling sick.

feeling stressed, i don't know why.
my tummy is not feeling well from all these stress. double crap.
anyways, paper2 coming up on friday, wish me loads of luck.
be studying too.... after i finish my drama LAH. HAHAHAHAHA.

its exam period, we don't have classes anymore.
but having additional ones with our law lecturer for the upcoming paper2.
class got cancelled today, postponed to tomorrow morning at 8.
hate waking up early.
but i still went to college today anyways.
went for lunch, afterwards, sat myself in the library with collegemates til 4+ and went to 1u,
took a cab cos the bus at 5 is ALWAYS full.

Roger asked if a natural disaster of any sort was coming, cos to him the stuff i bought was kinda.. alot? hahahaha, i don't know la.
cos after this friday i'm gonna be aloneeeeee, in the hostel, i mean there will still be people here,
but my classmates will be all going back home for like 2weeks or so?
cos after paper2 this friday, the next exam will be on the 30th.
how great is that? i wanna go home laaaa.

but it's okay lah, i'm always in my room anyways, doesnt make much difference.
more time for me, myself, and i. HAHAHAHA wtf. and drama. and revision.
after the exams, mine is finishing on the 6th, for econs,, it's on the 11th.
resuming classes on the 16th, classes for 3weeks and i'll be home.
yay!

christmas coming soon, wondering where to go this year.
you guys still wanna spend it in brunei?
im thinking somewhere else though..
a trip for all us singles maybe? lol sounds so sad.
i no longer have someone by my side spending boring days with me la.
boooo.

anyways, lets make a plan.
right now i feel like, going to the beach.
i don't know why la, but i like the beach.. so so much.

p/s : hate my hair colour, looks like shatt cos now it's like all washed-out with shades of poop-like colours. gonna dye again soon, what colour? no idea yet. crapppppyyyy.

yes yes, pointless and a lousy ending, AS USUAL!

xoxo,
JennyB.

abit of everything.

2009-10-13T14:57:00.000+08:00

love this letter. hope i can tattoo it somewhere someday. HAHAHAHAHA. tattoos kinda hurt though, and i don't know where i want it to be at yet.

a few possibilities :

at the neck? you know the part at the back? like you have a few strands of hair falling down and its not very showy, making it look pretty awesome!

on the wrist maybe? its cool, but its way too obvious.

how about at the back of the shoulder? OOOHH. like that idea.

but i prefer having GD's tat there. =D UBER COOL!

its not a very happy day today.

can't explain. its like a blend of feelings, very very complicated.

:D i miss my darling today (wendylim).

i went into a cd shop just now, and i kinda like the way the shop is, feels so cosy, yet so suffocating.

im gonna get s.h.e's book! AWWWW, love them sooooo much!

oh btw, help arrived today, from wkj.

thanks wong! (he's never gonna read it anyways, so, im just posting lah WHATEVER!)

miss him still, but not that much anymore.

the feeling might be stronger when i see him, like when i was back home? :(

feel like hugging someone! HIM maybe? HEH-HEH. so jian can die.

i can't help replaying that day, the situation was kinda awkward cos we haven't seen each other since forever, soo, yeah. not very comfy but i like the way things went.

hen you an-quan-gan. *smirks*

enough of huachi-ing lah.

p/s: maybe i really DO want you.. *huge grin*

wendylim lah, how're you today?

everytime i think of you, i feel home-sick.

always wish i could see you everyday, cos we can sit around staring at something, laughing at nothing. sounds abit pointless, but that's how we are, no?

we can sit without talking for the whole day... and we still feel great.

im not lesbo excuse me, just soul sisters. (:

i miss the EMPIRE NIGHT! winks*

no awkwardness, unlike here..

don't really wanna pour my heart out nor tell them everything

cos the feeling isnt right? i like them, but maybe not crazily inlove with them.

ju li gan, bu xiang kua yue de ju li gan.

got my trial's paper2 today.

don't feel affected? why? should be very nervous right..

urghhhh, sien dao ~ kill me.

anything lah.

gonna take a wink now.

take cares y'all.

xoxo,

JennyB.

moodybit.

2009-10-12T23:01:00.000+08:00

maybe it's me, or maybe it's pms?
i can't say for sure.
anyways..

feeling a lil bit down.
i always become more hyper when i'm sad inside, noticed that this has been going on quite alot lately. am i becoming crazy?
i feel like crying, feel so helpless.
don't ask me why cos i don't know.
i dont know how to place myself infront of friends lately.
awkward much?
i dontknow how to act.
things have changed..
but what?
im so tired of trying to figure.
im tired, really am..
so tired of drama.
gimme a break please.

i miss him, so much sometimes it hurts.
i still call him sometimes, just to keep myself posted.
yeah, you'll say it's dumb.
but we're bestfriends, we both wanna keep it that way.
selfish? maybe.

been crying quite abit lately.
mood swings maybe.
just feels like i wanna empty out all my emotions so that i don't get to the point where i finally can't take it and burst, cos it'll be so hard to control then.

was just chatting with the BFF awhile ago, after seeing her so down, it made my mood worser.
perhaps i love her too much?
she's been the world ever since he was gone.
sometimes people find replacements for the things they love too much.
she's the replacement, but its permanent.
i told her yesterday that having a bf will never change her position anymore and i hope she knows that.
she'll be no.1, well apart from my family ofcourse, she's kinda part of the family too.
he'll be the no.2 ! =)

sorry future boyfriend!
this is how we roll ~~~~

feels like i've kept too much secrets inside for too long,
but i have no one to tell to.
sometimes people just wanna keep it to themselves, though they wanna spill, they never will.

sometimes the harder i laugh, the harder it makes me wanna cry.
idk why !
feeling like my heart is crumpled up cos it kinda hurts now.
i don't know what i want.
i wanna get good results, go home and make my mom proud.
but im so not motivated.
ofcourse i study, but not as hard as i want myself to be..
i miss home sometimes, but i dont feel like going home.
i wanna go somewhere.. alone is fine.
doesnt make much difference anyways.

anyways, been onto someone lately.
don't know if im seriously into it or not,
but what i can say for sure is that i'm not fooling around.
maybe i want it to happen
maybe i dont
maybe i want us to be this way
maybe i want us to take a step further
maybe im just confused with what i want

been thinking
what if i took this risk and there's no turning back?
my heart is so weak it keeps telling me that i should stop here
but somehow i cant stop either
i wanna fall
but i wanna know that he'll be willing to catch me if i fall
but what if he does?
what will i do then? will it work?
i really dontknow
this feeling is vague.
maybe i just hadn't got the time to sort it out with my heart yet.
cos i dontknow if im really into him
sometimes i get really stupid
by just smiling at his texts, reading it repeatedly
smiles when we're chatting
my friend says im crazy for him
but i know im not.
not crazy, but not uncrazy either.
urghh.

but on the contrary,
he's doing quite a good job?
sweet, but not too sweet.
cares, but not too over.
like what we said we were like.
but most of the times you can just say he's hot n cold.
sometimes i just want more of him, but sometimes i prefer us staying this way
sometimes i feel like asking him what i mean to him
but i dont really wanna know, im not afraid
but, maybe.. idk.

what i can see is, we both kinda like what we have now.
so since we're enjoying now, why break the chain?

to wkj :
i miss you alot.

to him :
maybe you prefer staying this way too?

to her :
you're strong baby.

NOTE TO SELF :
study smart, get through this and you're a free bird.
=D

xoxo,
JennyB

:D very random, as usual.

2009-10-12T18:03:00.000+08:00

today's the first day of exam and its finally over, so YAY?
lol it's the most stressing subject on the list, and paper 1, sucks.
or maybe we're just not fast enough?
i couldn't finish, don't knw about the others though.

so im guessing everyone is relaxing.
its been a few days in a row that i've been sleeping late just staring at the books,
its a huge relief to have the paper over and done with today.
=D

happy? kinda.

feeling dead sleepy and have absolutely no inspirations on what to blog about.
crap.

all i know is..
i miss wendy lim.
i miss the beach.
i miss my mom and dad.
i miss my friends.
i miss home.
urghh, home-sick.

i miss shopping !
exams finish fast fast !
holidays fast fast come!
lets just shop till we drop.
:D

i wanna go manipedi.
i wanna go massage lah.
sien, lets go do the fish spa thingy together.

suddenly miss yak-yak-ing with angel.
was kinda bitsy awkward, but its okay to deal with.
i hope xinxin comes over on nov or before i go home.

i miss singing k LA.
shaaattt.

xoxo's.

=]

2009-10-05T14:55:00.000+08:00

this header will do for the time being, i guess.
i haven't really had the time to do anything else besides sleeping and eating since i came back from the holidays, couldn't catch up cos all i thought of was FUN FUN FUN.

I enjoyed the holidays back home.
Thank you GIRLS for making home feel like home again.
Really appreciate everything.

So, finally, i'll be back after the exams, AS is just around the corner..
wish me luck!

xoxo,
Jenny

替我爱你

2009-10-04T15:07:00.000+08:00

就因为发现你眼底
闪动为我牵挂的犹豫
这些日子为你乱的心
忽然全都释怀平静

关于她不完全怪你
是我大意让她靠近你
对爱情自己是太自信
失败了我输得起

过去已经过去
眼前你要珍惜
如果她愿意
替我爱你
就让她替我跟你斗嘴闹情绪
听你说她很细心
善解人意
她真的比我更适合你

让她爱你
就让她替我陪你热闹或孤寂
抱歉的话别再提
就到这里
我真心愿意让她替我爱你

其实还爱你

2009-09-17T15:04:00.000+08:00

我讨厌阴天的风

冷得那么刺痛

只有你能够抚平所有的寂寞

昨天的风筝在角落

被谁丢到了路口

我很不想让你

找到离开的理由

每一夜

闭上眼睛

我看到了恶梦

你微笑

但是旁边的人不是我

天空切开一道裂缝

直接割到我心中

不想装作脆弱

也不想爱得懦弱

其实我非常爱你

不想失去你

难道我没有权利

说我不愿意

你给了他的吻

虽然只有余温

可知道我多渴望

抓住你的心

我知道他很爱你

你怕他伤心

我每天假装开心

害怕你离去

可不可以任性

求求你不要去

藏在我心里

最后一句

其实还爱你

a random afternoon at snowhouse.

2009-09-17T14:51:00.000+08:00

just a short and quick update.

im home! i got home since monday night. =D

i'll make it brief, i've been hanging out with friends.

going home often after 12am, but i really really don't wanna go home.

cos i dont wanna be alone.

but.. all my kaki. ada bf, ada kerja.

no time for me. URGHHH.

should've just stayed in KL.

=(

but i went out with ping & winnie yesterday.

love em to bits.

thanks for being there to listen, people. =D

really needed that.

i guess im fine now.

but not THAT fine, since some bastard has been keeping me hanging on the line.

ohwell, we'll get back to that.

stay tuned for updates.

xoxo

当你离开的时候

2009-09-14T00:22:00.000+08:00

我只能低着头发呆

让回忆渗透脑袋

渐渐变空白

我把它当做个意外

但内心还想不开

因为我明白其实你都还在

我想起了你给我的感动

想起我们之间的温柔

我想起了我们第一次牵手

我闭上眼想起当时你许下的承诺

把你整个心都交给我

然而到后来我什么都没有

当你离开的时候

我可以装作已释怀

他对我也算关怀

他看不出来

我知道这样不应该

在他身上找依赖

算不算是种出卖

因为你一直在

越是没用力

越是心痛

new header under 'construction'

2009-09-13T16:53:00.000+08:00

im trying to squeeze out a wee bit more time to edit my new header, so, patience!

=)

p/s : i dare not promise anything, cos Jenny Bong is not ready to face any consequences caused by not fulfilling promises, so do not expect any promises from JennyB from today onwards.

Going strong.

xoxo.

confession.

2009-09-11T23:36:00.000+08:00

YAY! trials are finally over! well, nearly anyways! =D Monday's my last paper, and i'm coming home for Raya!

There's only one more month left for AS papers, hopefully i can get all Cs or hopefuuly, ABOVE and i'll be as happy as a bird. It's been quite some time since i REALLY studied for my exams and i hope there will be some sort of consolation in the marks i get for all the effort made.

Alot has been on my mind lately, and if you really wanna know, i'm very self-conscious. Mainly about the way I speak and act i guess, but sometimes the processor lags a bit and i tend to say some things that might hurt, and you know what? I also DO speak my mind. I know it hurts sometimes but I can't help it. My apologies. =)

Memories keep running and replaying in my head, it hurts me so badly and i feel so guilty and remorseful for all that i've done, to my friends, my family and my BF. I've been taking my friends support for granted cos i know they'll always be there for me, i know they get pissed by the way i act sometimes, but i act as if i don't know, i'm sorry for being a B sometimes. I'm a terrible friend, but i'm trying to change. Well, maybe i have, abit. =) My family, they are the only ones i can really fall back on during all the hard moments i face yet i never turn to them, unless the world turns its back on me. Im sorry, mom & dad for being such an awful daughter. My sister always reminds me that im the most loved in the family, because i know that, i take all their love for granted. Cos they will never really get mad at me, i'm not spoiled. I'm just the kind that's all about myself.

and my BF? He's the one most taken granted of. I throw temper tantrums at him, sometimes i yell at him, i argue with him, sometimes.. maybe just to know that he really loves me. Cos i'm a bit too insecure. I know he does, but i kept having those silly thoughts, all girls do. I made him do what i thought what a perfect bf would do for their gf, the worst thing i've tried to do in our relationship was TRYING TO CHANGE HIM. I forgot how we were at first, how we would try adapting to each other's habits, loving all of it whether they were good or bad. Time made us change. But he was always loving, caring, and he hardly argues with me, cos he knows me. He knows me, he understands and he has always been patient. He's the most wonderful person i've met in my life, i regret for not being able to appreciate. I do appreciate, but maybe he doesn't see it. I've been trying to be him. How silly.

She told me i changed alot since the day i found him. He was too special, he left me hanging, i became clingy and annoying, i knew it but couldn't help it, sometimes i go overboard. Cos i was so afraid I would be left out in parts of his life. Gradually, i did. i started to lose rythm and i slowed, i couldn't catch up. I tried to, but the gap was widening. I tried to catch up in other parts, again and again i failed. I'm sorry i hadn't put in enough effort. Im sorry for thinking that you would never leave. Im sorry that i thought we would be forever. Im sorry for taking all these for granted. I love you.

My worst mistake was taken God for granted. At every point of life when i feel like breaking down, i tend to pray. I always told people i was a free thinker, it's true. I pray, i go everywhere. I believed in their existence. (this is not to be regarded as a religious issue, do not get offensive. and this is probably the part you should leave if you do not want to read) I pray to Him, seeking for guidance, only when i thought i needed Him, when my life was going well, i thought i never needed him. Everytime i pray, I cry. But after I cry, I felt a feeling of calmness in my heart. I felt safe. You think it's just illusion? Do not despise the power of God. =) He is all. Anyways, i do not want to be verbally attacked by anyone, so i'll stop here.

All i wanna say is, i fell, but i'm standing up. Still going strong, don't worry.

Just feeling a little empty. And do i really look that difficult to be close to? Sigh. I wish someone would text me everyday. LALALA. I want to feel loved, feel needed.

Im just so insecure, this feeling kinda sucks, abit. urghhhh. hate it.

text me text me text me
love me love me love me
need me need me need me
hope this hynotism works

yes, im just another loser who's afraid of being lonely.
ever since he left, i've never felt a minute secured.
but im so freaking glad God gave me wonderful friends.

Joanne has been everything, a sister, a friend, a COOL advisor and blahblah.
from the day i broke down, she lent me her shoulder, she lent an ear. I knew i was getting annoying for repeating the same stuffs everyday. But she always listens, even when she doesnt want to. im sorry i brought so much trouble to you, thank you for being there. we may bot be REALLY BEST BEST BEST friends, but you're regarded as my best friend anyways! =)

Thanks. Im sorry i couldnt be a better friend.

I've already taken another step up in life. =)
and you can too.
Goodluck. <3

p/s: i do not want to answer any questions made from YOUR assumption. leave me in peace, cos im fine, and i mean FINE. thanks for asking. this is to everyone reading.

=)

2009-08-15T16:23:00.000+08:00

trials are coming! everything will be done and over with next june. =) and i'll be coming home! probably just for a month or two cos i don't think i'll stay in bru after this. so if you miss me, come after me.

life's been pretty hectic, just imagine you have to cover the whole AS syllabus within 5 months, and A2 another 5months. I think we're seriously nuts to even start this, should've just listened to mom and be good to apply in MD or Katok.

ARGGHHH. Oh well, since we're already half way through, no point quitting now. Let's hope we all get through this with flying colours.

I'll try to update as frequently possible.

Take care you all,
XOXO,
BONG.

SUPER RANDOM.

2009-06-24T21:06:00.000+08:00

was just sitting in my room, doing work, and it just suddenly came popping to me, like.. HEY! Maybe I should blog today! So here I am, BLOGGING!

I've been up and active in Facebook recently, and I still am! I don't know what for, but I suppose people think it's an 'IN' thing to do to just hang around on facebook, so I thought, yeah, maybe I should be on THAT network too. So i'm facebook-ing. But don't question me on anything like the pet blahblah thing cos i don't really have a clue!

I just turned 19 a week ago and honestly, if you wanna know how i feel, i feel like 29! BAH! So old. Please please please somebody please stop the time from ticking, I don't wanna be any older than 19. (P/S : please do not try to be funny and give me a clock with NO BATTERIES and say 'here, it doesn't tick')

Life has been pretty hectic, but I'm still lovin' it, alive and kickin'. Struggling? More like STRIVING. And i still haven't figured out a solution for myself being a super laid back person, and procrastinator. It's like I'd do nothing, NOT even if you give me all the money in the world. I'd still be me, that couch potato. I'm trying to do something, trust me I AM! HAHAHAHA. At least trying to concentrate more in class rather than struggling LATER when i'm revising for exams.

I'll post pictures soon, and GOD, have i AGED! It's SCARING me!

Anyways, it's just a short post to keep you updated..

You heard about the H1N1? If you haven't, ask your mom/dad lah can! Been pretty teruk, spreading here and there. and the BEST THING is, it's in Damansara! OMG RUN FER YOUR LIVES!!!!! hahahahaha. Neh, just kidding, not the 'best thing'. It's the worst thing ever!

THEY said that antibodies has been created to prevent the disease, or rather, just make you feel better, and is expected to be out in September, but a bad news broke out just when the GOOD one was out, there seems to be a mutated type of H1N1. Take care everyone!

BTW, bet you JUST don't get the part where I mentioned Damansara, cos I'm in Damansara! There are infections here. I heard from a friend today, that the lecturer told them one of our college students kena ady.

But I don't feel scared, I've been so close to death for a few times, so i guess if it really happens to me.... Let's just say that it's inevitable. It's just a matter of time, for death to come? I'm having Flu right now and it sucks, but I still love you all la! HAHAHA. OMG the sentence seems so irrelevant but whatever!

Take care!
MUAHMUAH.

it WILL be different.

2009-06-16T22:03:00.000+08:00

I always start by apologizing for how my blog is lacking of updates and stuff. and how i will VERY VERY SOON blog. I've lost alot of viewers but I don't really care.

I've been busy and yes i'm back in KL, well to be exact i'm in Selangor. I went back home for about a week or so and now i'm back back, here. To rot in this living hell. Its not as bad as it sounds, maybe i just like to exaggerate. HAHA!

There are actually some stuff that I like, and dislike..

I like how I get to be alone.
I like the fact that I'm living on my own now, e.g washing my own clothes, my own dishes, etc.
I like knowing that I've become more independent.
I like how I can have the room on my own since my roommate isn't always around.
I like my new life here. (parts of it)

I start seeing how bad I can be.
I'm starting to hate myself.
I'm looking for a turning point.
I promised myself I would be different this time..

I hope it works.

Keep your fingers crossed and i'll see you soon.

I'm HOMEEEEEEEEEEE

2009-06-03T23:22:00.000+08:00

I've been meaning to post this when i was back home last sat night just to say..

"I'm HOME, dudes & dudettes!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Me broadband's a little f-ed and just got it fixed today. So here I am blogging away. I'll post pictures when i get back to hostel. My labtop can't connect with this broadband thingy and i dont know why yet.....

I'll have things figured out soon. I've been busy at home, baking and being with my daleng BF cuz he misses me THAT much and i've been missing him too. HAHAHAHAHA. okay, gross. We've had spaghetti for two days in a row and it's time to cook FETTUCINI CARBONARA tomorrow! Awwwwwwww.

Ahwen's in my room, sleep over tonight. We have loads to pour and so little time.... =(

Anyways i promise i'll update soon, so keep your fingers crossed!

MUAHHH.

Girls time now!

P/S: Group gathering this Sat for those who are back home. Contact KOLOMEE. (Chloe) my dearest hubby. loads of love, see ya!

confessions.

2009-05-18T01:12:00.000+08:00

After one and a half month of being here, I still don't think I belong.
Something is missing. Though I'm quite used to school & the hostel now..

A BESTFRIEND is missing. Sure, I have a number of friends if you DO want to put it like that.
But what I really need is not talking crap and laughing around and being pretentious or whatever. I'm still not ready to take that MASK down yet. Maybe I haven't met HIM/HER yet. Whoever my best buddy will be.

And so, Im still trying to eprsuade MISS WENDY INTO COMING HERE. She's considering, but there are some problems lah. If she comes, I WON'T EVER FEEL LIKE I DON'T BELONG ANYMOREEEEEE!

She's my life, my love, kinda like my everything. Cuz she cares!

She's a great listener, good advisor, best friend, good cook, smart ass, my soul.
and MOST importantly, she's the only one I can ever open my heart up to, though there are times we argue, we quarrel.. we fight. But we're fine.

The problems mostly comes from me. I know I can be a BIT TOO SWINGY some times..

I'm sorry and I love you.

I need Some real friends.

I really do.....

JR i need you TOO.

Lucky for me i'm going home in 12days.

See you all then.

BOOK YOUR TIME.... NOW!

LOVEEEE.

its been lalalala.

2009-05-17T16:21:00.001+08:00

Been busy lately. Especially after I started College life.

I'm loving it, but it's dragging me to hell... step by step.
My old self has started revealing, and I'm getting lazier. I'm trying hard to fight the feeling yet I'm sitting here blogging. It somehow seems like admitting defeat but I'm just gonna get back to studying a little later.

I so REGRET not paying attention in Accounting classes during high school. I can catch up but my thoughts always carry me away in classes. I HATE distractions!

Time is so not enough now i'm wishing i have 72hours per day.
and i'd plan my hours like this :
15 hours to sleep
8 hours for badminton
6 hours to cook & eat
10 hours to go shopping
12 hours to study
4 hours to day dream
3 hours to play computer games
5 hours to shower ( in a bathtub! )
2 hours to go jogging
7 hours to roll on bed slacking off and relaxing.

72 Hours per day and 500% of energy!

That's what I call life.
But now, Thanks to the hectic life & packed up schedules I don't even have enough time to have fun.

It's currently 430pm, Sunday.. and here I am blogging when I'm suppose to test myself on essay writing.

How UNPRODUCTIVE I WAS TODAY :
I woke up at 12pm, started to stare at my lappie screen blankly until Joanne nudged and ask me if we were gonna cook lunch.
I called the bear to get some ingredients, and went with JC & Bear to the mini mart across the road to get some stuff while Joanne was showering.
Got back and went over to Joanne's to cook..
Finished B'fast + Lunch + Dinner at 4pm.

And here I am sitting, blogging when I'm having a test tomorrow.

LALALA.
So i gotta go.

Just a short post to update. =)
Love!

Take care ya all!

picture post -

2009-05-02T20:07:00.000+08:00

Hey babes.
Due to the lack of update, lots of people are starting to complaining.
So here's the updates with ALOT of pics.
Not arranged accordingly,
includes pictures taken back home & when i'm here.

Kathleen Baby. On a Garfield. SO orangey! =)

We had lunch at Tropicana City Mall. Most of the shops are not opened yet though.

This was the place we had lunch at. =) so School-ish!

Us + Lunch = Happy.

Cute! The menu was practically a school exercise book (except larger) and with the maths timetable at the back.

Aunty ZHiLing. At redbox - The Curve.

QQ.

WyHong & 林俊杰同学! HAHAHA. Malaysian version of JJ.

My Pretty Babes.

US @ the school cafeteria.

Mr Ben! Our law class teacher & Missy Kat. They are just oh so adorable!

This is Funny. Notice the difference?

This is Cute, Pinky & Glitter-ish!

Her birthday at 24.12.2008. The cake is part of the present for her.

Winnie Bee! This is so touching! =) Love you loads too babe.

My Favourite skinny Jeans, though im still fat, but im working on it. =D heh heh. The expression is dumb, so i Mosaic-ed.

THIS is FUNNY.

Nice pose kat babe. I look.... weird here. But lazy to do anything about it.

In case you're starting to forget my face... AGAIN.

Typical Jenny Bong outfit. NO PHOTOSHOP okay. STOP IT. in F21's fitting room. OH well.... what's a girl to do when SHE & a MIRROR comes together?

Forever 21 in OU.

We never understand.... HAHAHA. At choo's party.

Pink-ish. Lovely & Nice. I LOST MY SMOKING BUNNY! =((((

Brunei's BATCH of TOURIST GUIDES. =) LOVE US NOT?! Yes, we are valuable cuz we are LIMITED.

I miss this.. from Pizza Hut Brunei.

Lookie them. SOOOO cute! My bestie & my adorable friend.

My favourite Drink. I love coconuts for some reason. I like them better when they're in their original 'CLOTHING'. hehehehehe.

I miss NACHOS too. Choo, you're treat when i get home aite.

See i was just talking about you and you popped out. =) FINALLY can see your eyes properly. HAHAHA!

At YOUR party. Had loads of fun. We'll have a slumber party on 30th may KAY NOT?! Whose place? You guys decide. LOVELOVE!

JR's brother's wedding. The cake. You love it? BRUNEIANS! Look no further. Just go to Cit's page. You'll love her creations.

Ages ago, Neh it was only a few months back. Boy's sister-in-law with the brother-in-law. =)

Me with the Niece. On wedding day. In the morning. =)

HEHEHE, This is for Chern. love you too babe! In choo's room.

Well I guess that's about it for today. Loads more to come.

I'll be blogging in words again.

The next LONGGGG picture post wil be coming soon.

MUAHMUAH.

Always yours,

BONG.

I AM IN LOVEEEE!

2009-05-02T20:00:00.000+08:00

I am SO IN LOVE with my NEW fling.

You're so gonna drool when you see him.....

LAI, show you!

OMG i know. He's HOT.

Mr Wang Lee Hom.

HOT NOT HOT NOT?

HEHEHEHE.

Go listen to this - 心.跳

I love himmmmmm!

Only for a short period of time.

Cuz i'm gonna drool for someone else soon.

Muahahahaha.

Okay,

GO DROOL NOW.

BYEEEEEE. <3

lalalalalala!

2009-04-26T23:44:00.001+08:00

Each and everyday i look at the calendar and tell myself
'i'm one step closer to going home.'
and i'd feel happier.

I'm getting used to the life here.
liking it, but not loving it, well. not YET i guess?

Anyways it's late,
I'm feel happier after talking with him over the phone
cuz I know he's there for me...
He always is.

I'm SO BLESSED & you have no idea.
Thanks Jesus / God / Buddha / Allah / FATE & CUPID!
(you do not come in order, i thank all all all)

BEDTIME!
Nights!

p/s : this is my blog, i blog whatever whenever and it does not go accordingly.

i <3 fashionshows.

2009-04-25T23:57:00.000+08:00

super hot male model... I LOVE!
where? D 1Utama!
(L).(L)

He looks like Keanu Reeves in some angles.
Don't know who?
SAKAI lah you.
go google!

I think he's hot anyways!
shut your mouth and try to agree already.
ALOT of others tooooooo.

GOSHHH.
I'm drooling.............
I'm starting to love Fashion Shows.
lalalala.
Happy Day!

Fashion Show COME COME!

not enough time for sleeping.

2009-04-24T17:40:00.000+08:00

I removed the previous post because someone at school think it's for her or something. Im not going to say who's it for, but it's for someone back home. If you know who you are. It's too bad if you don't.

I've been stressing alot lately and i'm getting sadder and sadder. When I was chatting with Kat, it's like some sort of confession and the tap was actually dripping. I don't know what's wrong with me lah. Maybe the PMS coming that's why I'm like this.

I want to make it clear...
I love ALL of the friends i made since I came here, and I don't want anyone to think otherwise when I'm not with them. Cuz I know how it's like, how you're likely to think and blahblah. I've been there and I know how it feels.

AHHHHH.
Getting emo here. F!

SKIP.

JUDE DEAR.
I will do it for you.... later lah! =D
heh heh.
Nudge me when you're on.
I WANT TO KACAU YOU LAH, got what again?!

Mm.
I miss HIM loadssssss!
I miss the feeling of LOVEEEEEEE we actually have when i'm with him.
But hey, i'm committed.
I may EYE, but MOST unlikely to scandal.

My tummy is feeling weird and I've been feeling sick lately.
WTH is wrong with me?

Feels like the end of the world.

I better go to bed.
It's the ONLY thing i can do to clear my head.
Tata, beautiful world.
I love you all.

I made two new friends on the bus today.
im happy.

random post.

2009-04-20T23:43:00.000+08:00

He's just NOT that into you.

I watched that with some friends today at 1U. My neck was damn sore after the movie though, the seat was like way to tall for me to rest my neck and I did not want to bother untying my hair for the sake of that 2hours to make me look like some crazy girl.
Result : SORE NECK.

I liked the movie, Scarlett Johansson, Jennifer Aniston, Drew Barrymore, Jennifer Connelly, Bradley Cooper and sooooo on. YOU should probably go watch it. CC insists on saying that it's a GIRL movie.

I kinda figured that maybe i'm a bit like Janine (Jennifer Conelly) in the movie.
Hate lies, Traitors. Throw things to relief the anger. (Excuse me, i dont do that anymore, i USED to.) Emm. I dontknow. I got so farn angry at the part also. AS IF BEN HAS BECOME JR.
But mind you, JR doesn't smoke nor does he takes alcohol. He's just my goodboy. =) MINE! Stay Away, GIRLS.
Result : Learnt more on BOTH sexes. Educative, if I may say? Something to boost your knowledge on girls / boys if you don't already know.

We shopped and loitered around, but didnt really get close looks on the stuff. Perhaps some other day? I'm so worn out by all the walking and my eyes are feeling freaking dry cuz of my lenses. It's 11.56pm right now and i'm in the study room with CC & JC. It's my First time! =D And today is my freaking first time to 1U. Sakai-ness! Oops, light are closed, should probably head back to the room now.
Result : Aching body + tired eyes.

Tata. Stay tuned for more updates. MUAHMUAH.

Love,
Meeeeeeee.

会呼吸的痛

2009-04-17T21:18:00.000+08:00

在东京铁塔　第一次眺望
看灯火模仿　坠落的星光
我终於到达　但却更悲伤
一个人完成　我们的梦想

你总说时间还很多
你可以等我
以前我不懂得
未必明天　就有以后

想念是会呼吸的痛
它活在我身上所有角落
哼你爱的歌会痛
看你的信会痛
连沉默也痛

遗憾是会呼吸的痛
它流在血液中来回滚动
后悔不贴心会痛
恨不懂你会痛
想见不能见最痛

没看你脸上　张扬过哀伤
那是种多么　寂寞的倔强
你拆了城墙　让我去流浪
在原地等我　把自己捆绑

你没说　你也会软弱
需要依赖我
我就装不晓得
自由移动　自我地过

我发誓不再说谎了
多爱你就会抱你多紧的
我的微笑都假了
灵魂像飘浮着　你在就好了

我发誓不让你等候
陪你做想做的无论什么
我越来越像贝壳
怕心被人触碰　你回来那就好了

能重来那就好了

SHOW-OFF!

2009-04-17T21:07:00.001+08:00

I just want to show-off lah! =)

HAHA.

I know chen is about to throw up this minute.

as well as the others.

You've never seen HIM like this you say?

He always looks like a happy-go-lucky person.

Never so icky?

ONLY TO ME LA

not you.

TOO BAD.

iloveyou.beee

so far so good? =)

2009-04-16T22:57:00.000+08:00

Overheard you asking, 'how's Bong doing?' I'm fine. See! HEH HEH. But perhaps fatter? Face rounder? Or getting thinner? YOU tell me. Since i'm here, and NOT surrounded by great food, i might as well go on a diet. =D I'm currently 55 kg, so i'm planning to go down to either 48 or 50. =DDD

Very happy! GOT MUFFINSSSS to eattt! Made by Arieni, the baker. Mm. sounds nice. hee.

Kat, eating her K. Very happy also! Arieni mentioned today that each muffins is about 600calories. And she said average consumption of girls per day should be 1000calorie to stay fit, guys should be 1.5k. I know. WTH?! How can LIVEEEE?! HAHAHAHA.

Happily posing with my initial, J muffin! =D

And no, no photoshop or whatever. these pictures are naturale!

EXCEPT removing pimples.

I currently have 2pimples beside my eyes, on my nose.

Looks like vampy's bite mark. LOL

HAPPY HAPPY!

KJ, sounds like Jr's initials!.

Love love you, WKJ!

This is from Arieni to her beloved BF, Rufey.

I <3>

So sweeeeeet!

Look see look see!

The couple.

Chinese? No.

They are Muslims.

but they look like chineseeeeeee!

I know. HYBRID!

kidding lah. MIX.

Taken last.... Thursday? Can't remember.

Arieni laughed crazily when she saw this pic. Dunno why.

She siao liao. HAHAHA.

KIDDING again.

Cuz Kat's funny lah she said.

Kat with Ms. Angeline.

Our accounts teacher.

She's very funny.

Kat & Arieni are both besties with Roger.

I MIGHT be one day but not for the moment.

LOL

Things have been okay so far.

I'm going shopping with CC next monday! =D

Thank you, CC.

I'll post her photos up when I take some with her on mondayyy.

It's friday again.

I'm beginning to love weekends.

Cuz weekdays are pure stress days.

Your classmates are so damn hardworking, you don't even dare to relax for one bit.

It's not high school anymore.

the COMPETITIONNNNN!

GODDDDD!

me & A was talking about it this morning in the library.

So weekends are 'relax days'.

Still have to study la, IN ORDER TO SURVIVE.

imma slep real late, do laundry as usual and play games ,ROT & study.

THIS IS SO NOT ME! STUDYING!

BEING HARDWORKING!

But i'm proud of MEEEE. =DD

And uhh. the sleep over thingy cancelled for this week.

I'm ookay.

Sis coming over to visit this coming May.

SUCK HER WALLET DRY, whats a sister for right?

Holidays faster come faster come!

2010 faster come!

Graduation faster come!

AUSSIE HERE I COME!

HOT GUYS & BEACH & BIKINI

HERE I COMEEE!

NO ASSUMPTIONS CUZ..

WKJ and I ARE STILL SOOOOO IN LOVE.

He is MINE, I am HIS.

Nothing will ever come between us.

What we have is..

LOVE & TRUST.

XOXO,

BONG.

L O V E .

快乐

First ever post in 2011

Dreams

' A dream of a leaking roof represents distractions, annoyances, & unwanted influences in your life or new information is coming.'

lacking motivation

that feeling .

something to think about .

just be yourself -

1st day in Kuantan .

..

i will NOT care anymore

x

...

READ

new start , again (:

写给以后陪我一起到老的人

quotes -

misery ? NOT .

confrontation

luckylucky banana .

lovelove

another lalala .

what if ..

LGMH

fight for this love ♪

don't let it get to you .

stuck

< / 3

245s

Just do it . (:

第几个一百天

vexation

loveyou (:

blabla

can I have this dance ?

lalas .

annoyance

(:

WLWL

WENDYLIM .

(:

最近

welcome to my life

imy

confusion .

sunday .. again .

maybe

你

the long weekend

untitled

love is what makes the world go round .

记号

勇敢的不是我

serious serious , be serious . =)

random-ness

最佳听众

sunday .

another day .

after CNY .

tralalalala ~

...

a new start . (:

雨天

updateeee.

对不起 我爱你

drowsy day.

13.11.09

没那么爱他

short complaint. (:

给 ` 匿名氏

stress stress stress

dilemma

bestboyfriend -

lalalalala.

stressed.

abit of everything.

moodybit.

:D very random, as usual.

=]

对不起我爱你