Feeling quite bothered at the moment. I never try to hide the fact that im bothered, yeah i guess im quite like.... a more straight forward person?
Anyways, im feeling quite emotional RIGHT NOW. cuz of something that happened yesterday, i guess blogging & sharing is a way i can soothe the insecurities im feeling. Now, im listening to some VERY SADDEN-ING SONGS, or.. sentimental as you may call it?
Here are the 6 songs im listening to right now, and i didnt take a really long time to pick it out though, i just picked the songs based on feelings. and it all turned out to be sad songs that are reflecting my emotions right at this moment.
First one - 擦肩而过
我爱着谁
爱到我有点醉
告诉我你是谁
能够把我让我变不对
你不会累
但我却爱你爱得好累
从没有为了谁
不顾安危 付出一切
站在这平衡点
我还是觉得有点危险
或许是看不见 只能够靠感觉
他不会是个好男人
也不会是个好情人
你对我说 我们只是擦肩而过
好的男人有那么多
少了他的日子也能过
我不会再让你寂寞
也不会让你更难过
你听我说要好好学着去生活
就算未来有多少错
至少还有我的问候
我的温柔陪你度过
你听我说 你不要这么做
你不要看着我
说你已经知道怎么做
你很难受 我愿意陪你一起承受
只要你不怕痛 再多坎坷我都陪你走
Second one - 不能说的秘密
冷咖啡离开了杯垫
我忍住的情绪在很后面
拼命想挽回的从前
在我脸上依旧清晰可见
最美的不是下雨天
是曾与你躲过雨的屋檐
回忆的画面
在荡着秋千 梦开始不甜
你说把爱渐渐 放下会走更远
又何必去改变 你走过的世界
你用你的指尖 阻止我说再见
想象你在身边 在完全失去之前
你说把爱渐渐 放下会走更远
或许命运的签 只让我们遇见
只让我们相恋 这一季的秋天
飘落后才发现 这幸福的碎片
要我怎么捡
Third one - 手心
我 一个人徘徊在 我们的海
闭上眼我还记得那一天看见的蓝
爱 距离也分不开
你送的贝壳还在呼唤
在耳边答应要给我未来
那一天手心里的爱
我放不开
等一个人多么孤单
我一分钟又一分钟在忍耐
握紧了手心里的爱
我勇敢了起来
当你回来的时候
我一定要跟你说
别再走开
我 跟寂寞在比赛 等你带我
手牵手一起去看全世界最美的海
泪 不可以掉下来
我学着向日葵抬起头
等待着最亲爱的你回来
抱着我称赞我的勇敢
贝壳握在手心
静静的变得温暖
就像是握住一点点答案
当我祈祷的时候 天使都不在
当我痛苦的时候 也只好习惯
当你回来的时候
我一定要跟你说
别再
别再走开
Fourth one - 连哭都是我的错
分手到底是不是你要的结果
给不了我太多还不准我难过
不知道是为了什么
还要把你无力的爱
记得那么多
怎么放手
也许上天安排你 我擦身而过
我明白和你的爱不可能会有结果
你留下泛黄的承诺
要我抱着你的双手
流着泪不准你走
说我贱我也无话可说
连哭都是我的错
在你面前还要我怎么做
我看见你们拥抱还一笑而过
沉默是我的错
连哭都是我的错
空房间独自等待着日落
爱没有进入身体已经太执着
爱你是我错
连结束也是我的错
Fifth one - 倒带
我受够了等待
你所谓的安排
说的未来到底多久才来
总是要来不及 才知道我可爱
我想依赖而
你却都不在
应该开心的地带
你给的全是空白
一个人假日发呆
找不到人陪我看海
我在幸福的门外却一直都进不来
你累积给的伤害
我是真的很难释怀
终于看开 爱回不来
而你总是太晚明白
最后才把话说开
哭着求我留下来
终于看开 爱回不来
我们面前太多阻碍
你的手却放不开
宁愿没出息
求我别离开
你总是要我乖
慢慢计划将来
我的眼泪却一直掉下来
过去怎么交代
你该给的信赖
被你亲手缓缓退入悬崖
从我脸上的苍白
看到记忆慢下来
过去甜蜜在倒带
只是感觉已经不在
而我对你的期待
被你一次次摔坏
已经碎成太多块
要怎么拼凑跟重来
Last One - Always be my Baby
We were as one babe
For a moment in time
And it seemed everlasting
That you would always be mine
Now you want to be free
So I'm letting you fly
Cause I know in my heart babe
Our love will never die.. no~
You'll always be a part of me
I'm a part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
I ain't gonna cry no
And I won't beg you to stay
If you're determined to leave girl
I will not stand in your way
But inevitably you'll be back again
Cause ya know in your heart babe
Our love will never end no
I know that you'll be back girl
When your days and your nights get a little bit colder
I know that
you'll be right back
Baby believe me
it's only a matter of time
I dontknow if its just me lah. Now YOU tell me. Since you wanna read then you better comment lor~ whether or not it is just me being paranoid?
Most of the readers here knows whats on with me and my boy and the someone. So yeah. as i was saying.. about yesterday? YES. i SAW HER. i was a little startled cuz i dontreally remember her looks anymore. but i saw her, like with short hair? on the car, whats more teruk is.. J & me were holding hands & then laughing laughing somemore then i saw her. J didnt see her though. But then when i saw her ( when i only THINK that i saw her) i told J. i saw HER! J was like.. oh yeah? where? and said, nola, thats not her watch.
Then i asked if she had a mole on her face, he said not. but who knows if a lalat dropped the shit on the face kan? LOL and who knows if she actually wanted to buy new watch of NEW styles?
I wasnt really sure BUT some how my feelings tell me that it was HER~ The way she looked at me and that smile which had somehow CONTAINED that scornful shitty smile made me felt the creeps. From my first tiome i saw her, i already felt the CREEPINESS.
I dontknow why though. she's not a really friendly person i guess? Or maybe its only what she wanted to make me think it was.
Anyways, GUYS (pig, chen, ahwen) remember when we used to work in Jaya together? JR brought her there to see me just cuz she told JR she wanted to see me. when i found out, i was like... WHAT THE **** why the hell did he do THAT for? right?
forget about that. I wasnt exactly worried bout her gonna what what what. i was just curious i thought. Cuz since im REALLY (sure this time) gonna be gone for good, then i thought i better dont bother anymore.
But whats annoying is, the more i think i shouldnt bother, the more it bugs me. I dontknow why but seems like everytime i think i wont be bothered, my senses just CONCENTRATE on getting bothered. SO DDDD!!!
So yeah like what the hell. I was being paranoid WHOLE DAY LONG. i sent a text to JR said i REALY REALLY wanna trust him. so i said i hope he doesnt do anything disappointing.
Then i told him.
' I was thinking.. Since i still cant get rid of the insecurity then maybe i should just get rid of you?'
Then he replied.. 'why not?'
I said.. ' because i still cant get myself to trust you'
he's been saying that im lacking of confidence. said im always easily VERY easily pushed around and getting upset by what people do or say.. well i guess so?
im not a born loser. just cant feel BETTER cuz my life is kinda like... miserable?
OHWELL!
malas blog already.
p/s: it was her. SHE texted me cuz i mc-ed her & was shown that she's in BRU & she claims that she has already been here for a couple of days. i need MORE sources!
-the end-
